Have you ever had the burning desire to know if you've had more sex than your friends? Yeah, me neither. But if you're bored at work and actually maybe kinda sorta are just a little bit curious how your slate of conquests stacks up against other ladies your age, Slate created this sexual history calculator for just the occasion.
After you enter your gender and age, the quiz begins to calculate and cute quips flash across the screen like "hiring private eye," "blushing," and "reading up on Freud." When the results are in, you get a neat little graph of your sex life and the percentage of people you've had more sex than. I was somewhat shocked to find out that I've had more sex than 93 percent of my peers, but, then again, "peers" is a relative term. I don't consider my number astronomical by any means, but, honestly, any discussion of one's "number" is always accompanied by some level of guilt or shame or embarrassment whether it be because you think it's too low or too high.
(I put in zero above, because no one but me needs to know the actual tally)
Sex is about quality not quantity, and the number of partners you've had has no bearing on your skills in the sack or your worth as a person — particularly if you are a woman. I'm sick and tired of being trapped in the virgin/whore binary, and our cultural obsession with counting sexual partners (and judging you harshly based upon your number) doesn't help the situation. That said, there's nothing wrong with a little midday guilty pleasure quiz, so what are you waiting for? Feel free to take the information you glean from this quiz and...let it having absolutely no bearing on how you feel about yourself or your sexual history. You do you, and if that means remaining celibate or having sex with every consenting partner you please, then so be it.
(Here's what happens when you put in 999)
Images: JayAlvarez/Instagram
