Full House fans will attest to this: There was always a clear hierarchy in the Tanner house, and none of the adults were at the top. No, the top dog in the Tanner household was not Danny or Joey, and not even Uncle Jesse. Instead, the indisputable ruler of Full House's Tanner home was Michelle — and her reign started at a young age. When she was still in diapers, Michelle was already exerting her control over the other family members with her adorableness, and, as she got older, it seemed she began to better understand the power she wielded. Like a benevolent, but fierce queen, Michelle ruled over the Tanner house with a tiny, iron fist, and no one dared to stop her for reasons of cuteness. (Also, possibly fear.)
As a Full House fan, I loved every minute of Michelle's queen bee status. She was the clear winner in the coolest sister race in my opinion (D.J. and Steph, I still love you!), and she always found a way to bend the adults to her will. Watching a little girl totally win over the entire family to her way of thinking each week was empowering: Michelle figured out how to work the system to her advantage, and she worked it hard. Giant ice cream sundaes, extra bedtime stories, and hanging out with the Beach Boys — the girl had it all, and she was an inspiration every step of the way.
1. When She Nearly Broke Uncle Jesse & Joey With Their First Diaper Change
OK, so Michelle was an infant in the first episode, but the first time Jesse and Joey had to change her diaper, Michelle proved they were on her turf. The guys had no idea what they were doing as they wrapped Michelle in paper towels and put her in a basting pan. Meanwhile, Michelle sat back and giggled at their epic fail.
2. When She Refused To Star In Uncle Jesse & Joey's Commercial
Michelle's superpower was her cuteness — the kid could melt any heart — so it was not surprising when Jesse and Joey decided to have her audition for the marshmallow commercial they wrote a jingle for. Michelle got the job, no problem — but when it came time to perform, Michelle refused to eat more marshmallows. Maybe it was because Jesse and Joey overfed her... or maybe she was just showing them who was in charge.
3. When She Had Uncle Jesse Hang Out With Her The Whole Night
Michelle's first night in her big girl bed was way too scary to face alone. While most adults would have insisted it was a rite of passage a kid has to get through on their own, Michelle gave Jesse her puppy dog eyes look and he ended up sleeping in the big girl bed to keep the monsters away. Point: Michelle.
4. When She Got A "Get Out Of Preschool Free" Card
By the time preschool rolled around, Michelle's hold on the family — and Uncle Jesse in particular — was strong. Her first day of preschool started with her pinching a kid and getting pinched in return. Of course, Uncle Jesse could not stand for Michelle to face such barbaric conditions, so he immediately brought her home.
5. When She Was Danny's Cleaning Deputy
Danny gave Michelle a big job at a very young age when he named her his cleaning deputy. Drunk with power, she took her role so seriously that she had the entire family freaked out. What she lacked in literal height, Michelle made up for with intimidation.
6. When She Showed Dusty Who Was Boss
For a few episodes, Danny dated a woman with a super annoying son named Dusty. The kid was all about pulling pranks, but Michelle did not let his trouble-making behavior go unpunished. First, she concocted a scheme with her sisters to spray Rusty with whipped cream — and when he got Joey and the rest of the family involved in a love letter mishap, Michelle ratted him out faster than you can say, "you got it, dude."
7. When She Convinced Jesse Not To Move Out
Michelle's biggest coup had to be keeping Uncle Jesse in the Tanner house after he married Becky. Uncle Jesse had already moved out, but Michelle's sadness was too much for him to take. It did not take long for Michelle to get her way, as Uncle Jesse decided to convert the attic into an apartment for his growing family.
8. When She Tied Up Teddy & Didn't Get In Trouble
When Michelle got upset about her best friend Teddy moving away, she kidnapped him and tied him to a chair with her jump rope. Did she get in trouble for, you know, kidnapping and holding a "child" hostage? Nope! The adults decided it was a teachable moment. Michelle was definitely the queen.
9. When She Broke A Dinosaur
Like, real dinosaur bones at a museum . It's the kind of thing you just don't get away with — unless you're Michelle, of course.
No consequences, baby: That's just how the number one Tanner rolled.
Images: Warner Bros. Television; Giphy (9)
