Sansa Stark is, once again, in a terrible situation on Game of Thrones. This seems to be a running theme for her character, as disheartening as that may be. How will Sansa get her revenge on Game of Thrones? A Stark is finally in Winterfell after all these years. That has to mean something!
Remember the days when the worst thing in store for Sansa Stark was a loveless marriage to Loras Tyrell? Those "happy" days were brief for both of them! Now, not only is Sansa in an abusive marriage with the Bolton heir, but her father in law, Roose Bolton, is largely responsible for the Red Wedding that resulted in the deaths of her mother and older brother. What's more, both Roose and Ramsay know that Theon Greyjoy did not really kill Bran and Rickon, and yet they are withholding that information from her. Basically everyone who has ever done anything to Sansa's family is in Winterfell — her family's home — with her. She needs to borrow a page from her sister Arya's chapter and start reciting a kill list.
Before he left to return to King's Landing, Petyr Baelish told Sansa Stark to avenge her family, so how will she do that? I don't think "the best revenge is living well" is applicable in this case. Turning down Brienne of Tarth's help was probably a smart move from Sansa's perspective, but she's on her own now and it's time for the Boltons and their creepy flaying habits to get gone. Let Iwan Rheon be on another show where I can appreciate his handsome shark face without shame. I'm counting on you Sansa — here's how you can get your revenge.
9. Kill Ramsay Bolton
Last season, Tyrion suggested to his brother Jaime that Sansa was "not a killer... not yet anyway." I know it's not Sansa Stark's style, but please. PLEASE.
8. Kill Roose Bolton
Personally, I'm sick of hearing "The Rains of Castamere" on this show, but I'll allow it if it means the end of Roose.
7. Kill Myranda
No, I don't mean that. Do I mean that? I think Sansa knows better than anybody the value of female allies and enemies. But, like, in a pinch, this would be a good way to get back at Ramsay.
6. Befriend Myranda
There we go. It's terrifying when your significant others (past, present, and simultaneous) are friends, isn't it?
5. De-Legitimize Ramsay
This would be tricky. However, it would be the least violent and most effective way to get revenge on her new husband. If she could somehow orchestrate a reversal of the royal decree and made Ramsay a Snow instead of a Bolton once again, that would be brilliant.
4. Turn Reek Against Ramsay
Last week, Sansa tried (and failed) to speak to Theon Greyjoy, or whatever is left of him. Was that not one of the most inspiring Sansa moments ever? It's dangerous, but I think if she kept trying, she could succeed.
3. Side With Stannis
This isn't my favorite, but, with Stannis' army on the march towards Winterfell, an easy way to take revenge against Sansa's immediate enemies would be to somehow aide the invading troops. They could connect her with Jon Snow. They could even give her news of Arya, though it's relatively old news.
2. Make Ramsay Fall In Love With Her
I think one of the major complaints about Sansa's arc this season, apart from the obvious, is that we were all so excited for Wicked Sansa at the end of last season. She has a dry, dark sense of humor that could be used to her advantage here. Where's the Sansa who studied at the tutelage of the manipulative Margaery Tyrell? I'm not saying I blame her for being less than seductive with Ramsay, and he clearly doesn't want that from her, but it is one of many revenge tactics. Ramsay's not as smart as he thinks he is. He could fall for his own medicine.
1. Take Winterfell For Herself
I know one little Mormont girl on Bear Island who would support this campaign. As far as Sansa knows, she's the heir to Winterfell. She doesn't need the Boltons to take it back for House Stark. All she needs is enough Smallfolk and enough smaller Houses that support her cause. Even if she discovers that Bran and Rickon are alive, she should still be the heir. Succession law that doesn't favor daughters is so 200 Years After Aegon's Conquest and late.
Image: Helen Sloan/HBO; Giphy (9)
