Summer is here, which means a good three months of beaches, barbecues, bikinis and endless opportunities for salty, sweaty, soaked-to-the-bone sex. Whether you like to hit it in the frozen confines of your bedroom hovering next to the A.C. unit, or get busy on a park bench as you soak up some sun, summer sex is a special pleasure that comes but once a year.
I personally prefer my pleasure in the shade as I’ve been blessed/cursed with a decidedly gothic pallor, but that doesn’t mean I don’t dig summer loving, too. Late at night swimming in the ocean, early evening in close proximity to an amusement park (re-enacting that scene from Fear is still on my bucket list), or just indulging in a classic seasonal fling are a few of my faves that I get nostalgic for once Memorial Day weekend rolls around.
Although my all-black summer uniform might not be as forgiving as your summery pastels, once I forced myself to associate seasonal sweating with seasonal sexing, I was hooked on the heat. There’s no better way to say fuck it to high temps than by melting the sheets (or the boardwalk, towel, or lawn chair, etc). Here are 10 kinds of summer sex to try out, because the summer months should have you dripping in more ways than one.
1. Ocean Sex
I don't mean beach sex with the foam lapping at your toes here. Ocean sex means you and someone of your choosing submerged at least up to your waists. You can try all kinds of superhuman positions thanks to the salt-water buoyancy factor, but just don't let your clothes get lost if the tide moves you down the shore (seriously, it sucks so bad).
2. Camping Sex
Summer is the ideal time to get intimate in the great outdoors. For camping types, this means channeling your inner wild animal and doing it on the floor of your tent in your sleeping bag – or for the more adventurous, on nature's floor itself. (Just beware of bears.)
3. Amusement Park Sex
While I don't recommend having sex in full view of the patrons and attendants at an amusement park, I do recommend taking advantage of the private time in your ferris wheel carriage or roller coaster two-seater to fool around. For those who've seen Mark Wahlberg give Reese Witherspoon a, um, hand in Fear, you know what I'm talking about.
4. Summer Fling Sex
Summer flings definitely don't have to have the happy ending that Sandy and Danny's summer rendezvous in Grease does, in fact, sometimes it's better that they don't. Somehow knowing your encounter has a seasonal expiration date can light a bonfire under you ass to make every moment count.
5. Post-Day Drinking Sex
Whether you've been throwing 'em back by the pool all day or rooftop bar hopping, once you've been sufficiently baked by the sun and your beverage of choice, there's a perfect pre-nap window to sneak in a quickie.
6. Beach Sex
With the right combination of blankets, umbrellas and strategically-positioned cover up clothing, you can get away with pretty much anything on the beach. Just make sure you're not in eyeshot of the lifeguard — unless the lifeguard is the one you're trying to get in the first place.
7. Waterpark Sex
The lazy river offers some hidden nooks and crannies, as does the deep end of the wave pool. Pick your location carefully, however, 'cuz you don't want to scare the kiddies.
8. Your-A.C.-Broke-So-You're-Sweaty-As-Hell Sex
Why does your A.C. always seem to crap out right when the thermometer's in the red? Don't pout, just take the opportunity to turn that sweaty night in your underwear to a sweaty night out of it.
9. It's-Too-Hot-For-Underwear-So-Wherever-You-Want-It Sex
If, like me, the summer feels way to too hot to bother putting on undergarments, you're left with a plethora of places you can stop for a session — no undressing needed!
10. Firework sex
An explosive evening of fireworks is a great time to ignite some of your own. If traditional 4th of July festivities bore you, just remember you can easily end the night with a bang, or two, or three...
Images: Giphy (9); YouTube
