Entertainment

Maybe She Shoulda Been Lady Ganja

by Dale Neuringer

It's official, Lady Gaga is such an intense presence, she can even make pot-smoking into an insane achievement. According to an interview, Lady Gaga smoked around 15 joints a day leading up to her hip surgery, which makes Miley Cyrus's whole wannabe stoner thing look just sad in comparison. According to Lady Ganja herself, she would wake up, smoke a shit ton, perform, get off stage, and smoke more. How on earth someone gets out of bed, let alone performs a two hour stage show after 15 joints is far beyond me, but hey, it just goes to show that Lady Gaga doesn't do anything without giving it her all.

Which is all kinds of crazy. Need to get in shape for a video? Work out endlessly. Need to find some outfits for your tour? Start a fashion house (or Haus, if we're being proper). Need some way to alleviate the pain? Smoke weed every day (to quote the great philosopher Dr. Dre). Fifteen joints isn't a normal "I'm a casual smoker" number of J's in a day, that's a "I'm your dealer, I haven't changed these pajama pants in a week, and I haven't known what the date is for months now" amount of jointage. One does not simply step up off the couch 15 joints later and work it out to "Applause" with back-up dancers and an audience of millions. One just doesn't do that.

So in essence, Lady Gaga never does anything at 50 percent. She's always turned up to 1,000 percent, even when it comes to the marijuana cigarettes. This woman is a juggernaut, but she also serves as a moral story for overachievers. If you have a Type A friend (or parent, let's be honest) whom you believe would be better off if they toked now and then, just remember, it's a slippery slope from a toke to smoking 15 doobies a day. Look no further than Lady Ganja guys, and let her be the warning tale.