Entertainment

Christina's "Your Body" Video Is Super Weird

by Alex Kritselis

May 21, 2015

Christina Aguilera's "Your Body" — the lead offering from her last studio album, Lotus — doesn't get the recognition it deserves. Sadly, the Max Martin and Shellback–produced track wasn't a hit (it peaked at No. 34 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart when it was released back in September 2012), but I think it's one of the 34-year-old singer's best singles to date. Not only is it incredibly catchy, it's also chock full of that sassy "Xtina" attitude we've all come to know and love. Oh, and the "Your Body" music video is pretty great, too. Well, it's not great great. It's great in a "what the f@#$ did I just watch?!" kind of way (which is my favorite kind of way, btw).

The concept behind the colorful clip is simple: Aguilera is a serial killer.

Wait, what? I'm serious: Over the course of the four-minute clip, the former Mouseketeer offs three unsuspecting men after getting sexy with them. What did they do to deserve such a fate? I'm not really sure. I guess Legend X just has a thirst for blood?

Let's take a look at 16 of the best and weirdest moments from Christina Aguilera's "Your Body" music video:

We Need To Talk About Oranum

Aguilera just starts talking to this guy named "Oranum" on her 25-year-old fossil computer out of nowhere like it's totally normal! Like, who is he? Where is he? Why is he? I demand answers. (According to The Hollywood Reporter, he is/was a real psychic named Laszlo Czero. The online psychic network he works/worked for is actually called Oranum. So weird.)

The Product Placement For This Fake Cereal

I'd rather have some Cinnamon Toast Crunch or something, but do you.

Our First Clue

Aguilera takes SICK pleasure in watching a cartoon wolf almost get stabbed to death by a million knives. Could she possibly be a *GASP* murderer?? This is our first clue.

This Dude Needs To Work On His Stamina, TBH

This dude who picks Aguilera up on the side of the road can only make out with her for, like, five seconds before he needs to stop and take a nap. What kind of severe iron deficiency?

But Why, Xtina?

Once Aguilera is sure he's asleep, she douses his car with gasoline and lights a match. KABOOM! But why, Xtina? Why? The world may never know.

Makin' Whoopee On Top Of A Stinky Toilet

After catching his eye from across the room, Aguilera lures her second victim into the men's bathroom at a dive bar so that they can GET. IT. ON. Really? Look, I know she has a "dirrty" side, but I also know that that bathroom smells like pee, cigarettes, and elephant farts. It's just simply not fit for romance.

Alien Encounter

Obviously, after they've finished doing the deed, Aguilera kills this fella dead. Strangely, his blood is... blue? Fascinating. He was almost certainly an alien, so it was probably a good thing she took him out.