You've probably already made a lot of life decisions already, but I'm really hoping you haven't picked a life coach yet. If you have, that's cool, I get it, but, if you haven't, you really need to consider Melissa McCarthy. On The Ellen Show, McCarthy told an inspiring story about standing up to a critic. She doesn't name names, because I truly don't think she wants to start drama, but, basically, some critic, in his write-up of her 2014 movie Tammy, said she only does good work in films when she's attractive, and that her husband, Ben Falcone, shouldn't be allowed to direct her anymore because he lets her be too ugly. For real.
Now I find that completely jarring, and, if I ever wrote that in a haze of wisdom-teeth removal drugs, I'd probably hide myself under a rock for the next few years or so as soon as I realized what I'd done. But the guy who wrote this particular review was so comfortable with it, and seemingly unaware of its inappropriateness, that he actually approached McCarthy at the Toronto Film Festival and revealed himself to be the piece's author.
I... honestly don't know what I'd do in that situation beyond spluttering like an enraged idiot, but, luckily, McCarthy handled herself much more like a human. She spoke to the guy on a human level, challenging him to consider whether he would have written the same words about a male actor, say John C. Reilly, if he'd really broken himself down physically for a character who doesn't care about himself, the same way McCarthy did for Tammy. Still not quite getting it, this writer reiterated just how bad McCarthy had looked in the movie, because — haven't you heard? — that's a totally acceptable way to talk to a person.
But McCarthy refused to give up on this dude, so she did another smart thing. She asked this guy, dad to a son and a daughter, how he would feel if, later in life, his little girl was told she couldn't do a job because she wasn't attractive enough. According to her, this guy really absorbed the connection between the unfair words he'd been writing about McCarthy, and the unfair way his daughter might be treated down the road. If you write about someone's physical appearance as if it has anything to do with their talent, intelligence, abilities, or how much they deserve their success, people keep assuming the two things are unrelated, and women stay in this vicious cycle of feeling like they need to be beautiful at all times in order to be taken seriously.
Basically, she nailed it, and anything that I say about it is gonna pale in comparison, so just watch the interview and bow down to your new queen.
Image: giphy
