You know like when you're snackin' and you have a moment of genius and you try to tweet your Big Idea and then you cover your iPhone in grease and the screen stops working and someone else tweets your Big Idea and they become a famous millionaire and live out your dreams and all you have are greasy fingers and a broken phone that is also a metaphor for your broken heart? No? Well, consider yourself lucky, because KFC's Tray Typers have delayed what was bound to be inevitable.
These things are — as impossible as it may sound — paper trays that your food is served on... which also double as grease-proof keyboards for your phone. I know, it sounds made up, but it is very real, and very cool. The trays were distributed throughout Germany as a promotional campaign for several new store openings. Every person who ordered got one, and, apparently, every single person took theirs home.
They're re-chargeable and Bluetooth-enabled (which is how they achieve that super cool wireless connection to your phone), while also being thin enough that you can simply use them as trays. KFC? The luddites of the world thank you for that.
For now, unfortunately, the techie trays are going to be staying in Germany; that means that those of us here in the U.S. will be forced to continue on snacking dangerously. Le sigh. Who knows how many good ideas will slip, literally, through our fingertips?
But I started thinking: If keyboard trays are now a reality, what other snack-proof technology is possible? I have a few ideas for anyone who might be looking for new toys to develop. You're welcome, fast food community.
1. Chewing Morse Code Typer
Chew in code, have it translated into a text on your phone, then swallow to send. Perfect for snarking at dinner parties. Should be pretty easy to figure out, right inventor people?
2. Mechanical Arm Tear-Wiping Headband
For when you're eating at Taco Bell and you overestimated your heat tolerance, resulting in watery eyes and hot sauce-covered hands. You don't want to get that Diablo sauce anywhere near your eyeballs, right? Just use this little hand that reaches down from your headband to blot your tears instead. Very straightforward and not spooky at all.
3. Lick-Generated Music Player
You how when you eat ice cream, it feels like your tastebuds are singing? Well now they literally can! Licking ice cream presses play on your iPod, so you can eat 'n' jam, and jam 'n' eat.
4. Grimace-Run Remote Control Changer
Designed for when both of your hands are full of a cheeseburger and an unwanted ad comes on TV. Change the channel while simply expressing your emotions!
5. Aromatherapy Fork That Tricks You Into Eating Healthy Stuff
So this was ALREADY INVENTED. You can actually BUY THIS. The Aroma R-evolution's promo video asks, "Imagine eating vegetables while tasting bubble gum." Yep. I'm imagining it. It's awesome. Gimme.
Images: Vimeo; Giphy(5)
