This App Encourages You To Shop While Drunk

You know that phenomenon in which one arrives home to find Nicolas Cage pillowcase or eyelashes for your car with no idea where did these magical fairy gifts have come from is known? Well, now there's a drunk shopping app that's bound to make it happen even more frequently. Consider them gifts from your drunk alter egos who got a little credit card happy. You might have experienced the perils of shopping online while under the influence. Suddenly you're out 40 bucks and have bought your dog a stegosaurus costume. Don't judge, it happens — and now it's gonna happen even more often

The only drunk purchase I've ever made was when I bought a pair of glittery, studded eight inch heels from Topshop after several glasses of wine at lunch. Awesome, but not as hilarious as eight pounds of Lucky Charms Marshmallows. If you're someone who has always wanted to a buy a serious portrait of a dog playing the guitar or the world's largest gummy bear and blame it on the a a a a a alcohol, this is the app for you. Designed by former Buzzfeed advertiser Chris Baker, the app, Drrrunk Shopping, will helpfully suggest regrettable purchases after it's sure you've downed enough Fireball shots at the bar.

First, send a text over to 551-333-7865. Then at 2am on Saturday night, you'll receive a friendly greeting, such as, "UTUUURNT THO?"

Followed by a delightfully regrettable drunk purchase suggestion and tons of hilarious egging on. The service takes no percent cut of purchases made, just the satisfaction that it's going to make (or complicate) someone's day when they discover they've bought a giant piano mat last night.

This is either the best or quite possibly the very worst thing that has ever come into my life and I can't wait to find out which. I'm already getting excited about what my first drunk purchases will possibly be. One of these, perhaps?

Saint Kaling Prayer Candle

Luckily, I won't have to pray for The Mindy Project's resurrection.

A Giant Basket of Cheese

Just because drunk me deserves a nice treat, you know?

All 144 Babysitter's Club Books

For when drunk me feel like spending $180 bucks to relive my childhood.

A 5 Pound Bulk Bag of Sour Gummy Worms

Because drunk me is a little sweet and a little sour.

A Life-Size Cardboard Cutout of the Royal Fam

Drunk me has big plans on taking a picture with it for next year's Christmas card and pretending they adopted me.

A Human Centipede Necklace

Actually, I already have this. And I wish I'd at least bought it drunk so I'd have a valid excuse...

Images: DrunkShopping.com, holypopculture/Etsy, greatarrivalsgiftbaskets/Amazon, josaphina330/Ebay, trolli/Amazon, starcutouts/Amazon, morbidxtasy/Etsy