Life

What If Snapchat Or Twitter Could Date?

by Mikaela Gilbert-Lurie

May 14, 2015

Online dating can be kind of tricky — but Emma Blackery, an English YouTuber and musician, just opened a whole new can of worms about the topic. In her new video, "If Websites Started Dating," Blackery answers the kind of deep, existential questions that keep you up at night, like, "What if Snapchat could talk?", or "Would Tumblr be fun to go on a date with?"

Blackery started making YouTube videos in February 2009 on the channel "Emma For the Win," but renamed her channel simply "Emma Blackery" in 2012. She originally became popular for videos in which she read 50 Shades of Grey out loud, but those have since been removed for copyright reasons. She has over 900,000 subscribers on YouTube and 317,000 followers on Twitter, so she definitely knows a thing or two about the interwebs. She's got big a fierce platinum pixie cut and the kind of humor that makes me want to show her videos to every loser who says that women are just less funny than men and be like, "Shut your face, Emma Blackery would be funnier in her sleep than you've been in your entire life."

Feminist comedy thoughts bracketed for now, though, this video does such a good job of encapsulating the personalities of each of the websites it talks about. I've taken the liberty of writing up a little online dating profile for each one, so you can decide which you'd be the most compatible with.

1. Instagram

Likes: Food, body images issues, sunsets (as long as they're not filtered with lo-fi).

Dislikes: The eggplant emoji, words.

Datability: Great if you're big on aesthetics, but not so great if you're looking for substance.

2. Snapchat

Likes: The minutia of daily life as documented in video, abstract art, high speed car chases.

Dislikes: Anything that takes longer than 10 seconds to do, traditions, memories, keepsakes.

Datability: Perfect for a fling, not huge on long-term relationships.

3. Facebook

Likes: EVERYTHING.

Dislikes: N/a (there is no dislike button).

Datability: Very datable if you're looking for something non-monagamous. Facebook just has too much love (er, like) for everything to limit it to just one person. Don't worry, though — if you're not a great match, it'll help you find someone you already know who might be!