Whether you're a diehard Bachelorette fan, you watch the ABC reality dating show “ironically,” or you aren’t sure how to feel about The Bachelorette as a feminist, you can get behind making fun of the long running series' overused tropes and cookie-cutter contestants. And while drinking wine and going all Mystery Science Theater on the show is good and well, I'll do you one better: Bachelorette Bingo. (Bonus: I can promise that it won’t lead to death by alcohol poisoning, unlike this potentially dangerous Bachelorette drinking game.)
In preparation for the ridiculousness bound to ensue during The Bachelorette’s May 18 premiere, I'd suggest that you take a few minutes to create custom Bachelorette bingo boards filled with all the show's most infamous tropes to cross off as they appear. Someone's ready to find love? Cross it off! They're in the perfect place to find love? Another one down! They liken an extreme sport to falling in love? Winning!
This bingo card maker will randomly generate cards based on 24 or more words or phrases you can enter. Just list at least five words in each box, and the Internet will do the rest of the work for you (which means more time to seek out the perfect rosé for premiere night!). Feel free to add your own favorites, but here are some clichés I recommend you and your friends look out for during viewing parties:
1. “I Knew It Would Be Hard, But I Didn't Know It Would Be This Hard.”
Contestants go onto The Bachelorette knowing that competing for their love interest’s affections with 24 other men will be hard, but man, this hard? Life is tough, but that's a bingo!
2. Shirtless Shot!
Gotta love the gratuitous toplessness. But… but… they’re playing a game that simply can’t be played with a shirt on, right? Right?!
3. Chris Harrison Cancels The Cocktail Party
Let’s stop pretending that the cocktail party is ever going to happen at the point when it’s most crucial. It’s just not going to happen. Whenever the stakes are high and time is scarce, the Bachelorette is bound to decide that the few minutes she spent with the men on the group dates suddenly suffices. The bright side? You get to put down another bingo button.
4. “This Is Like A Fairy Tale.”
The Bachelorette has extreme sports dates, make-out-in-a-jacuzzi dates, and occasionally, two-people-date-the-Bachelorette-at-the-exact-same-time dates... ah yes, all the key ingredients of a total fairy tale.
5. “I Didn’t Come Here To Make Friends.”
You came here to “find love.” We know. Take a square.
Using these and some of my other favorites, I came up with the handy card below. Randomize these babies on handful of sheets for you and your friends, grab some rose petals to use as bingo markers, and you're off:
And the winner gets — you guessed it — a rose. It's only fair.
I hope you enjoy the "journey" this season of The Bachelorette brings you on, feel a "connection" with the contestants, and watch it for the "right reasons": To make fun of how unabashedly scripted the show (probably) is and to love it anyway.
Images: Rick Rowell/ABC; Giphy (6); print-bingo.com
