Hey, you know the normal world that we live in on a regular basis? Well something weird happened to it, because Kanye West is a doctor now. That's right, this past weekend, while you were going about your life being an average person, Kanye was being awarded an honorary doctorate from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago (SAIC). As if he didn't already have enough reasons to think he's better than every single person on the planet. Given that it's Kanye, of course, I think it's important for us all to bear in mind that ,when honorary degrees are given out, it's because all the official requirements to receive one have been waived.
So this doesn't mean that Kanye put in any kind of face time in a classroom or turned in any assignments. It just means that he's being recognized on his merit, on account of being a famous person — and that he can refer to himself as Dr. Kanye West if he wants. What a delight for all of us.
But since Kanye has never been one for reality checks, or staying humble, or any of those personality traits that make you fun to be around, I'm betting he thinks he can actually practice medicine. Dr. Kanye West is now accepting new clients, and here's the basic outline of what will go down every time you visit his practice.
He'll Refuse To Refer You To Other Physicians
That would be like acknowledging that there are other doctors out there better than him. Are you kidding me??
He'll Only Deliver Diagnoses Via Rant
ONE CAPSULE TWICE A DAY UNTIL THE INFECTION CLEARS UP MY GOD THE MEDIA IS A CANCER NO YOU DON'T HAVE CANCER SHUT THE EFF UP FOR A SECOND I'M MAKING ART YOU CAN FILL YOUR PRESCRIPTION AT DUANE READE YEEZUS LIVES.
He'll Show You A Photo Of North West, But Slap Your Face If You Look At It
Who do you think you are, the paparazzi? His life is private.
He'll Make You Do The Eye Test Through Those Kanye Shades
What do you mean you can't see the first line?
He'll Interrupt You While You're Collecting A Urine Sample
I'M REAL HAPPY FOR YOU AND I'MA LET YOU FINISH, BUT I JUST DID THE BEST X-RAY OF ALL TIME.
You'll Wake Up From Surgery In A Couture Outfit
"I couldn't let you walk out of here in the outfit you had on when you came in."
The Only Reading Material He'll Provide In The Lobby Is Kim's Book Selfish
And you better read it, too, because he's gonna ask you to pick a favorite selfie when you're in the room. But it's OK, because Kanye is the best doctor of all time. OF ALL TIME, you guys.
Images: Giphy (8)
