When my grandpa passed away recently, leaving behind my grandma, his partner of 66 years, I heard her describe his loss in the most simplistic yet heart-wrenching way: "I feel like I lost my right arm." At some point, the two became one entity. I know that I want that kind of long-lasting love and partnership.
If you can't envision yourself getting old with your partner, even though you may not want to actually want to think about getting older, how can you even consider staying in the relationship? Adam Sandler, as Robbie Hart in The Wedding Singer, told Drew Barrymore's Julia Sullivan that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her through the power of tacky song lyrics:
I want to make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I want to do is grow old with you.
I want to grow old with you.
I tear up every time. I think you get my point, that one of the most romantic things to hear from your SO is that they want to grow old with you. OMG, stop. Here are some signs that the two of you will grow old together well.
1. You Understand Each Other
Both of you should be understanding of one another, and the each of you thinks about a multitude of issues. Life is not going to be easy; that's what's so fun about it. And it's better to have a partner who understands that.
2. You Forgive Each Other
With divorce being rampant and people holding grudges and hanging onto anger, there is nothing more important in a partnership (besides trust — we'll get to that later) than being able to forgive. Forgive in your own way for things that are actually forgivable.
3. Taking Care Of Each Other (And Yourselves)
You need to take care of each other's needs as well as your own. You must, must, must take care of yourself and make yourself happy in order to be happy with someone else and make them happy. Keep each other healthy. Avoid negativity.
4. You Trust Each Other
Simple. You both trust each other. If you trust each other in every facet of the relationship, you're in it for the long haul. You cannot have broken trust in a relationship. You won't be able to make it an entire lifetime together without this.
5. You Let Them Be Themselves
If you let your SO be themselves — whatever self that may be, even if you're not fully happy with it — they will love you forever. Being with someone for an entire lifetime and NOT being yourself is kind of like a slow death. Harsh but true.
6. Neither Of You Are That Selfish
We're all selfish to some degree. But if you're willing to do things you don't like in order to make your SO other happy, well, welcome to the long haul.
7. You're Supportive
Support their crazy dreams (even that weird desire of theirs to play drums in a tiki band). You'll also be willing to support them into old age.
8. You're Willing To Let Them Have The Remote
Whether it be the remote or letting them pick the restaurant they want, you both understand compromise. You give up a part of what you want to make them happy (and vice versa).
9. You Don't Run Away Or Shut Down
The going will get tough, because it always does. Something bad can happen between you two. Maybe someone loses their job, becomes depressed, or just encounters general hardship. You can't just pick up your marbles and run at the first sign of things not being easy. Someone can get sick, and you have to be with them and take care of them when they do. You have to be willing to make them chicken soup and escort them to the doctor. You just do these things for the people you love.
10. Most Importantly, You Want To Grow Old With Them
You will grow old well together if you want to grow old with them, and if you want to be with them through sickness and in health. AWWWWWW.
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