Kris Jenner. In 1985. In a Music Video.

There are some things in life that are amazing like, candy corn, snow days, and Kris Jenner's homemade music video. And there are some things in life that are absolutely horrifying like, trendy brussels sprout dishes, deadly hurricanes, and Kris Jenner's homemade music video. In honor of the Kardashian matriarch's 58th birthday, we'd like to remind you of the awesomeness that is the low-budget 30th birthday video that Robert Kardashian Sr. helped his wife make back in 1985. Starring young daughters Kim Kardashian, Khloe, and Kourtney, the song is called "I Love My Friends" and also features cameos from Michael Jackson (?!) and, wait for it... OJ Simpson.

It's been 28 years since this video was made and wow, it does not hold up at all. Which, of course, only makes it even more amazing. From sweatbands to shoulder pads to feathered hair to the '80s ooze that has seeped into every corner of this birthday adventure, it is a time capsule of magnificent proportions.

Best part about it is (other than the fact that it starts off with Jenner yelling, "November 5th, and now I'm 30!"), it helps you understand why the Kardashians turned out the way they did. Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe had no shot of living life outside of the spotlight when it's so clear that their mother craved the attention and the limelight. I mean, it's a birthday video about how much she loves her friends, which is actually about how much they love her. Clever girl.

Kris Jenner's "I Love My Friends" video is perfect in so many ways. Please, do yourself a favor: