Every Outfit Rachel Ever Wore On 'Friends', Ranked From Best To Worst: Season 9

This is mid-life crisis on vacation.

Image: NBC

DRESS OVER PANTS, this time it’s got an “Asian influence”.

Image: NBC

If you told me she was starring in a country music video I would believe you. Especially if it was on the soundtrack from a shitty action movie like Con Air (sorry Con Air, I still love you).

Image: NBC

Someone used grandma’s curtains to make Rachel’s mu-mu!

Image: NBC

Another dress over pants, this time in paisley “peasant” style.

Image: NBC

And here we have long sleeves under short failing DISMALLY.

Image: NBC

I’m really glad pashminas aren’t a thing any more.

Image: NBC

This is a real MOM shirt and not in a good way.

Image: NBC

I’m pretty sure I thought this was super hot when I was seventeen but I’m not seventeen anymore so that should tell you everything you need to know.

Image: NBC

Those boots look like they could stab someone to death with the toe.

Image: NBC

Rachel has one ugly ass ’60s inspired outfit per season and I supposed this is it.

Image: NBC

This is The Craft meets Pollyanna and while that sounds like it could be cool, it’s really not.

Image: NBC

DRESS OVER PANTS ALERT. Hello noughties!

Image: NBC

I swear my 89-year-old grandmother wears these exact pjs.

Image: NBC

It’s the poo brown turtle neck from before, but this time worn with poo brown pants as well!

Image: NBC

Yes, there is appliqué on that shirt.

Image: NBC

Prepare yourself. Things are about to get ugly up in here. Ugly like that skirt.

Image: NBC

What she’s hiding underneath is pretty cute, but the gown isn’t her best (and considering she’s set the bar pretty high with her dressing gowns, I’m letting her off easy for this one).

Image: NBC

Sorry I don’t have a caption for this one because I fell asleep looking at it.

Image: NBC

More plainness that would rate higher if it didn’t look like she was wearing parachute pants.

Image: NBC

Again, this just is.

Image: NBC

Rachel has three modes: Stunningly amazing, BORING and hideous. This is the middle one.

Image: NBC

Totally forgivable because she just came home from the hospital after giving birth, but also not particularly rousing.

Image: NBC

It’s not bad, but it’s not great either. It kind of looks like she might be on her way to the lake house.

Image: NBC

I mean, she’s on a bad date sure, but it’s still a date. This t-shirt is not the best date wear by Rachel, especially when she dressed like a total smoke show for her “fake” date with Joey last season.

Image: NBC

It’s a poo brown renaissance!

Image: NBC

I’m so glad people don’t wear cargo-slack hybrid pants any more.

Image: NBC

Now we get into real snooze town.

Image: NBC

It’s a little bit pirate, but still chic enough to make for cute work wear.

Image: NBC

Rachel wears black well, even if it is a bit bland.

Image: NBC

This loses points for the scarf around the neck (which is actually quite appropriate for a soap opera party), but the black is chic, so I’m still loving it.

Image: NBC

She just had a baby, so I’m giving her a pass on these ugly green pajamas, because also, whose hair looks like that when they’ve just been in labour for 24 hours?

Image: NBC

These grey slacks with peasant top makes the outfit very “corporate earth mother chic”.

Image: NBC

Now we get into the bland yet inoffensive outfits…

Image: NBC

… Which often feature denim jackets (which I have nothing against).

Image: NBC

This outfit was better with the jacket, but it’s still a perfectly chic office outfit without it.

Image: NBC

I mean, not everyone looks this sexy wearing a plain white tank to bed.

Image: NBC

Lumbersexual.

Image: NBC

Like I already said, Rachel’s got jacket game this season.

Image: NBC

This is very prairie chic but Rachel’s making it happen.

Image: NBC

It’s a sleeping t-shirt, but the choice of weapon levels it up exponentially.

Image: NBC

I HATE flip flops, but Rachel looks so hot in this strappy black dress I’m going to willfully ignore the fact that her footwear sucks.

Image: NBC

This new mom outfit is nothing flash but it gets one million cute points because LOOK AT EMMA!!!!!!

Image: NBC

I should hate this, because it looks like the shirt is rouched at the breast, but the relaxed denim pants and white shirt with mules combo is exactly how early millennium Upper East Side chic should be done.

Image: NBC

Staple outfit: blue jeans and a grey knit.

Image: NBC

So good, she wore it twice.

Image: NBC

Rachel had some good coats this season, this fur collared one being at the top of the pack.

Image: NBC

I kind of want this motorcycle jacket.

Image: NBC

Cute band tee, and probably the only time long sleeves under short ever looked good.

Image: NBC

This is the most incredible profesh single mother look ever. THAT SMUG SMILE THO.

Image: NBC

THAT NECKLINE. Brb, currently dedicating my life to yoga-ing my shoulders to that neckline.

Image: NBC

This is one of my all time favorite Rachel looks. In theory, the colors and pattern are pretty ugly, but the cut of the dress is so adorable the whole thing works.

Image: NBC

My greatest wish is that when I’m a mother, I look just like this (also that my children are happy and healthy and safe from danger but whatever, this dress).

Image: NBC