Life
Lay's New Chocolate Potato Chips & 7 More Super Gross Snack Food Combinations
Breaking junk food news: Soon, snack food maker Lay's will be making chocolate-covered potato chips. "Flavors are getting more sophisticated and complex," Tom Vierhile, innovation insights director at DataMonitor, told USA Today regarding Lay's chocolate-chip making motivation. Really? Really? Either someone doesn't know what "sophisticated" means or this country is going to hell in a hand-held grocery basket.
USA Today notes that these new Lay's chips are just one of many limited-time, seasonal snacks that hit supermarket shelves between Halloween and New Years. To get in the, er, spirit, we've rounded up a few more seasonal snack food monstrosities and gross flavor combinations that just shouldn't exist.
Cracker Jack'D (AKA Caffeinated Cracker Jacks)
Caffeinated Cracker Jacks hit the market last year. In flavors like "Cheddar BBQ" and "Spicy Pizzeria," each 2-ounce pack of the snacks contains 70 milligrams caffeine, equivalent to about one shot of espresso or two 12-ounce Dr. Peppers.
Cracker Jack' D Cheddar BBQ Nutrition InfoServing size = 1 oz (1/2 package)Calories: 150Total fat: 8 gramsSodium: 230 mgTotal carbs: 14 gramsSugars: 2 gramsProtein: 4 grams
Candy Corn Oreos
Candy Corn Oreos arrived on the cookie scene a few years ago as Target-exclusive Halloween-season snack. "Because god knows, there's nothing the people crave more than fucking candy corn!" Lindy West wrote last year in a post mocking the Oreos. "I know my family and friends can't shut UP about how much they wish all their non-candy-corn foods could taste more like candy corn. Good thing Target is on the case." West also taste-tested the cookies, finding them gross and soul-liquefying. I like the prominent note on the front of the package that these babies are "artificially flavored." Does anyone think there's possibly any way that candy corn is a naturally occurring flavor?!?
Nutrition InfoServing size = 2 cookiesCalories: 140Total fat: 6 gramsSodium: 80 mgTotal carbs: 21 gramsSugars: 12 grams
Baskin Robbins Turkey Ice Cream Cake
Ice cream and turkey, together at last! Okay, so Baskin Robbins' "turkey cake" — rolled out each year around Thanksgiving — doesn't actually contain any meat or meat-like flavor. It's just an ice cream cake in the shape of a turkey, which isn't too terribly gross, I guess. Baskin Robbins describes the cake as "a unique dessert...sure to be the centerpiece of any holiday gathering. This all ice cream cake with sugar cone legs can be customized with one or even two of your guest’s favorite flavors." Hmmm, what ice cream flavors do you think go best with shiny brown sugar shellac?
No nutrition info available.
Holiday Pringles
Last year, Pringles rolled out a line of holiday chips that included pumpkin pie, white chocolate peppermint and cinnamon & sugar flavors. This year's holiday-themed chips, available only in the U.S. and UK, will include pecan pie and mint chocolate chip in addition to cinnamon and sugar.
Cinnamon & Sugar Pringles Nutrition InfoServing size = about 15 chipsCalories: 150Total fat: 9 gramsSodium: 95 mgTotal carbs: 15 gramsSugars: 2 gramsProtein: 1 gram
Image: Twitter
Carmel & Cheddar Bugles
In the "sophisticated" sweet and salty vein, Bugles recently released a line of new flavors. It includes caramel, chocolate peanut butter and "salted caramel cheddar." The first two I get, but caramel and cheddar? No no no no no. Sugary cheese is just not meant to happen, folks.
Nutrition InfoServing size = 3/4 cupCalories: 130Total fat: 7 gramsCholesterol: 3 mgSodium: 250 mgTotal carbs: 16 gramsSugars: 5 gramsProtein: 1 gram
Cheesy Garlic Bread Chips
Not content to come up with gross flavor combos on its own, Lay's last year held a "Do Us a Flavor" contest to come up with new chip ideas. Bacon and macaroni-and-cheese flavored chips were in the running, but the ultimate winner was "cheesy garlic-bread" flavored chips.
The Pizzabon
Cinnabon + pizza. Oh, FFS ...
(No nutrition information available, likely because it would be too terrifying.)
