I’m sure that if you asked couples that have been together happily for a long time about the key to a successful relationship, most of them would probably say “communication.” Being open and honest is crucial to a strong and healthy partnership. You need to be able to talk to your partner about your feelings, thoughts, and emotions. At times, you will have to discuss things that are uncomfortable, and you might want to sweep issues under the rug. It’s easier said than done to truly talk about things.
With that being said, there is a fine line in a relationship that you need to be careful of crossing. Not everything needs to be discussed. If bringing up a topic is only going to hurt your partner’s feelings, then maybe think twice about it. If no good will come from saying something, then it’s best to not say anything at all. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t speak your mind and divulge what’s important to you. But there are times when certain things should be left unsaid.
Here are five hard conversations you should not have with your partner.
1. Conversations About Your Partner's Appearance
Even if you’re not loving your boyfriend’s new shirt, or maybe your girlfriend’s gladiator sandals aren’t to your liking, there are some things we just don’t say out loud. And if you’re thinking of making any negative comments about your partner’s body, then please think again. Not only is that extremely insensitive, but it can also have a lasting effect. You may think it’s a joke, but you'll be the only one laughing.
2. Conversations Comparing You Partner To Other People
Not only should we ease up on comparing ourselves to others, but we should also stop comparing our significant others as well. Your partner doesn’t want to hear how Jackie, Sarah’s girlfriend, buys her flowers at least once a month. Even the worst of manipulators will know what you are getting at. And the most egregious offense is if you compare your current partner to an ex. Comparing your present lover with your past lover will not make for a good future.
3. Conversations Involving Inappropriate Comments About Friends
I get it. You might think your girlfriend’s new friend Lisa is super hot, but do you need to really express this out loud? You’re walking a fine line if you’re going to be making comments about your partner’s friends. Whether it’s about their appearance, intellect, or whatever, your significant other will most definitely remember it. So even if you think his friend's new girlfriend or boyfriend is not smart or courteous enough, remember that not everyone (your partner) wants to hear that.
4. Conversations Involving Negative Comments About Family
You know what they say — “family is forever.” And so are the comments you say about your partner’s family members. I’m sure you have probably been annoyed with your in-laws a time or two, or maybe you wish your girlfriend’s sister didn’t stop by as much as she does, but remain cautious when it comes to expressing yourself. It’s one thing if your significant other says rude things about his or her own family, but the rules fly out of the window when another person has a negative opinion. So might I suggest keeping your opinions to yourself (and to your close friends, in a separate and secret conversation)?
5. Conversations Involving Details About Previous Sexual Experiences
Every relationship is different. Maybe one couple is fine with revealing their number of sexual partners with each other, while another would want to avoid that discussion like the plague. I’m not saying it’s not okay to be couple number one, but you should be weary of giving TMI. It’s one thing to tell your partner you’ve tried certain sexual positions before, or about places you’ve had sex, but divulging the size your previous lover’s penis or boobs is a big mistake. So keep mum when it comes to the down-and-dirty details, and everything should be a-okay.
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