Why Chopping Off My Hair Made Me Feel Nothing

For 10 years, I have had long hair. That was until Saturday, when I got my long hair cut short. With a few snips, my nipple-length mane fell to the floor from just above my shoulders. Just like that, I had myself a little lob (long bob!). And somehow, I wasn't phased. "What?!" I thought to myself.In anticipation of having my hair hacked from my head, and writing this article, I was expecting the loss of my hair to cause at least a little shock to my system. I mean, Samson lost all his power when his hair was snipped, and just look at the mermaid sisters in Hans Christian Andersen's The Little Mermaid tale! They gave the sea witch their magical mermaid locks in an attempt to save their sister's life! Hair is a big deal, man. (You can quote me on that.)My hair has always been a big deal to me. Since age 16, it has been my mission to grow it as long as possible. I would look up hacks on how to make your hair grow faster and freaked out if my stylist cut more than a inch at my yearly trim. Before I started dying it a year ago, and at the height of its natural mermaidom, my hair covered my boobs entirely. It was pretty much my pride and joy. I loved the way my strands felt on my shoulders, like a silky cape. There was something quite comforting about being able to wrap myself within my hair... it was something I could hide behind if I felt uncomfortable. Although it took a million years to dry, and was pretty unruly on occasion, it was worth it. And I learned how to care for my long hair. "So why on Earth did you do this?" I hear you ask...

(Me with my long, natural hair!)

It started with Pinterest, as most good ideas do these days. Two years ago, I started to lust over mermaid pastel locks, which led me to bleach and dye my silky brown mane to pale mint green. I loved it, but when I decided I wanted to switch my hair to pale pink, I had problems! Home hair dyes, such a Bleach London, say their colors are temporary, but green tones notoriously stick around! If you take anything from this article: WATCH OUT FOR GREEN DYE!After trying literally everything, I called on the help of a hairdresser friend to strip the color from my hair with another full head of bleach. With a beautiful L'Oreal toner, my hair came out a gorgeous shade of pearly pink blonde. However, I was left with dry, damaged hair, and I started only wearing my hair up.

After spending weeks covering my hair in olive oil daily, I decided that something had to be done. I'd always been drawn to long, curly bobs, á la Reese Witherspoon in Water For Elephants or Alison Goldfrapp, but never really considered getting my hair snipped like that. Yet all of a sudden, I started noticing wavy lobs left, right, and center.

Within a week, after consulting a handful of opinions from my nearest and dearest, I booked my appointment with my stylist friend, and by Saturday I found myself with a long curly bob of my very own. Feeling pretty... well, calm.

So what has my complete lack of a hair-raising reaction to my loss of length during this beauty adventure taught me? Well, it reminded me somewhat of the beginning of 500 Days Of Summer, where, when introducing the character of Summer, the narrator describes an incident in Summer's childhood. Like me, Summer loved her long hair, but felt nothing when she cut it off. Unlike Summer, my decision to lop off my locks wasn't prompted by my parents breaking up and a disillusionment with anything "being forever." However, it did get me thinking about holding on to things.I've always been the sort of person who finds it hard to let go, despite being a pretty adaptable sort of lady, so my hair nonchalance came to as a surprise to me. It's always interesting to discover something new about yourself. I imagined that I would mourn the loss of my hair — I mean, I did spend 10 years growing and maintaining it — but instead I shrugged my shoulders and got on with my day. In fact, I loved it pretty immidiately. As I always reiterate in my writing, fashion is just fun, but fun can be profound. My brand new lob has taught me that I can let go, and that sometimes it's best not to think about things too much, and just be spontaneous and go for it! You only live once. Maybe.

Images: Author's Own; Giphy; Getty