Miley's Pumpkins Are Pornographic

At some point, we're going to have to splurge on a postage stamp and mail this woman a thank you card because she has just given us so. many. gifts. The latest present she's bestowed upon humanity comes in straight-up gourd form, and I don't know whether to slow clap or clear my browser cookies, but Miley Cyrus's porno pumpkins are really making my day. The singer shared a picture on Twitter of Halloween jack-o-lanterns carved with images of what seems to be lesbian sex, doggie-style sex, and a marijuana leaf.

The sign below the naughty squashes ("naughty squashes" — now that's a phrase I've only used once before) reads Happy Fucking Halloween, which serves to really pull the display all together. It's quite the exclamation point on the already exclamatory scene.

It's unclear whether these porno pumps belong to Cyrus or whether she just happened upon them but either way, it's obvious she endorses them wholeheartedly. She alerted her Twitter followers that the photo was of "xxxxxxplicit pornkinzzz #beware," so you can't say she didn't warn you.

Frankly, this raunchy gourd pic is getting me really excited about what Miley might share this upcoming holiday season. Between her birthday (which is Nov. 23) Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, there is a lot of opportunity for her to share some other seasonal, pornographic cheer. A birthday cake in the shape of a vagina? Turkeys fucking in a cornucopia? Santa and Mrs. Claus keeping "warm" with Rudolph? The possibilities are as endless as they are thrilling.

Miley Cyrus's pornkinzzz are hopefully just the beginning.

Image: MileyCyrus/Twitter