What defines a religion? Depending on where you stand on the God debate, it’s something that must be about worshipping a higher being, but if you look at Scientologists and their belief, they might disagree. But really, who’s to say for sure? Can’t being a swinger count as a religion? Personally, I don’t see why not. Enter The Social Club of Nashville, Tennessee. The swingers' club that is rebranding itself as a church.
Since 1980 The Social Club has been providing something that their members want: Sex. They were very content in their lifestyle; unbothered, doing their own thing, until they decided to move to the suburbs and low and behold ended up setting up shop next to a Christian school. This, of course, created outrage amongst the townspeople (sounds like something from the 1600s, doesn’t it?), so The Social Club did what any group in their position would do: turned their club into a church.
And why the hell not? Now they have a parish, instead of members, and while they may not getting down on their knees to worship God, they are definitely getting on their knees to worship something else: Sex… amongst other reasons why swingers' might get on their knees.
The major concern here is what about the kids? I mean, what if they see people going in and out of the building? What will they think? Fully clothed people going in and out of buildings always raise suspicions so how will they explain this to their children? Tell them it’s a store? Perhaps, a work establishment? These folks have every intention of pursuing this problem to the “highest level legally."
Lawmakers in Tennessee, I should add, have actually tried to make the Bible the state book, nor do they have any laws that prohibit the discrimination of the LGBT community.
But if the swingers' club rebrands itself as a church, then the new zoning laws meant to block them from their “worship” become null and void. According to their lawyer Larry Roberts, who’s the one behind this brilliant idea, church members will "meet and have fellowship" there, but won't have sex. "If people have something else in mind, they will go somewhere else."
Their game room will now be known as the fellowship hall, their north dungeon will become the choir room and the south dungeon is in the works to become the handbell room, although I’m not sure what the latter is. Either way, it’s an amazing idea.
Besides, isn’t the United States the country for religious freedom? Yes. The only problem is trying to define what constitutes as a religion and what does not, and after that that’s where the U.S. Constitution stays mum, not expanding or giving a specific definition.
As author Robert M. Pirsig wrote, “When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called a Religion.” I think by those standards we can clearly come to the conclusion that The Social Club for swingers' is definitely a religion. And in addition of not being booted out of their new digs, they'll also qualify for tax exemption from the IRS, because churches tend to serve the public good. I’ll say.
If L. Ron Hubbard, a science fiction writer, could invent a religion, then I think that The Social Club has a good chance of doing so, too. I'd much rather be a swinger than a "Sea Org;” it just sounds way cooler.
Images: Lawrence OP/Flickr; Giphy(2)
