A lot of little girls (and women for that matter) dream of becoming a Disney princess in real life, and when you're choosing which one to channel (or arguing about it à la Penny, Amy, and Bernadette of The Big Bang Theory), the debate often centers around which Disney princess is the most stylish. But what I have come to realize is that the princesses don't actually have a lot going on. Yes, they're wearing nice frocks — but that's about it. The Disney villains, on the other hand, have a way more complex, evolved style, including iconic hairstyles, makeup, and accessories. Plus, on occasion they even treat us to a costume change or two!
Though it's true that Disney villains get a bad rep (and so they should, they are evil to the core), that doesn't mean they shouldn't get credit for their impeccable sense of fashion.
So here's a guide to the times that Disney villains were more stylish than the do-gooders, because after all, the goody two shoes are winning at life, so let's allow the villains a win at style, at least! Then maybe one day in the not too distant future, we will all be arguing over who gets to be Cruella de Vil rather than Cinderella.
Maleficent Versus Sleeping Beauty
Would you look at Maleficent's cape?! That woman is a master of layering. She's got a lot going on there: Possibly a fuchsia dress with a purple cloak over it and then topped off with a black, high collared cape... Wow. Not only are her clothes fabulous but she's matched her eyeshadow to her outfit and her lips and nails match the fuchsia of her pink dress. She has even color coordinated her pet to her outfit — a carefully chosen crow to match her cloak, whose eye sockets also call to mind Maleficent's dress. Plus, she has a magic staff that gives her outfit an ethereal, otherworldly vibe.
In comparison, I can only describe Princess Aurora's outfit as "white bread." I know she's meant to be dressed as a peasant — bang on with the styling there, Disney — but come on, I mean beige?! How boring.
Ursula Versus Ariel
Here Ursula is pictured wearing jewelry and a full face of makeup because let's face it, sea witches who appear to be half octopi don't really need clothes. Ursula is sporting a golden sea shell necklace (which also doubles as a voice stealer) and purple crystal earrings. She is wearing outrageous eyeshadow (you gotta' applaud her for trying) and classic, ruby red lips with nails to match. She's even got a little beauty spot, which could possibly be fake.
In conclusion, Ursula wanted to be the ruler of the ocean but she should have just stuck to what she was good at: Being the queen of accessorizing. Perhaps Ursula should have bestowed some of her accessorizing powers upon Ariel because Ariel's outfit consists of a bikini top... And that's it. Need I say more?
Doctor Facilier Versus Tiana
I think Doctor Facilier is my favorite, well-dressed male of any Disney movie. He has paired a tuxedo with a mid-riff-baring purple top, a top hat with a skull on it, and a feather protruding out of it, a necklace made of teeth, a staff and a thin mustache. Who else could get away with all that? Like Ursula, Dr. Facilier proves that accessorizing is the key to a fabulous outfit.
Here Tiana is wearing a hat and jacket, which were typical of the late '1920s. They are definitely not anything to write home about but she gets some kudos for making sure they match. However, how can her plain Jane outfit compare to Dr. Facilier's crazy, voodoo costume? I'm afraid it can't!
Cruella De Vil Versus Anita Radcliffe
Look at that classic LBD and glamorous fur coat with a matching bag! Cruella de Vil is a style icon. With red gloves that match the lining of her coat and her turquoise cigarette holder matching her earrings, Ms. de Vil is top of the Disney fashion league. Although not quite a princess, Anita Radcliffe is one of the good guys in 101 Dalmatians. Here she looks a bit like your nana in an apron, but that being said, she really didn't stand a chance when it came to going head to head with Cruella in the style stakes.
And have you seen Cruella's bedroom?! Not only is she a great dresser but she's also a dab hand at interior design. She is still dressed marvelously while under the sheets, wearing another fur creation with her slip matching her rollers. It's such a pity she's so well, cruel — she would have made a great personal shopper.
Drizella And Anastasia Versus Cinderella
Obviously Drizella and Anastasia are very spoiled and they are also a lot wealthier than Cinderella, so for the majority of the movie, they are, arguably, better dressed than her. However, my point in this comparison is that money isn't everything. Drizella and Anastasia have added a little neckerchief and a bonnet to their nightdresses and have dressed identically to make a fashion statement. I know you may cry, "Well maybe poor Cinderella couldn't afford a bonnet or a neckerchief!" Well my friends, why didn't she just make do and mend like she did with her first, pink ball dress? She could have looked way more stylish than her two horrible step sisters if she'd just put the effort in! Even the little birds pictured here look way more fashionable than sloppy Cinderella.
Jafar Versus Jasmine
Now Jafar is a regal-looking guy. His jewelled turban, golden snake staff, and majestic robes make him look very kingly. His facial hair is groomed to within an inch of its life and he is rocking the oversized shoulder pads. Jasmine, on the other hand, does not look regal at all. Yes I know she was undercover here but didn't anyone tell her that it is possible to go incognito in style? She could have worn a cool wig, dressed as a pretty hand maiden, or even tried dressing as an elegant guy. All I can say is thank god for her earrings and lipstick.
Mother Gothel Versus Rapunzel
Rapunzel is wearing her own hair. I repeat: Rapunzel is wearing her own hair. Mother Gothel could be wearing any hideous outfit and she would not come close to how freaky Rapunzel looks. I mean, how unhygienic! In the words of Cher Horowitz:
So next time you have your which-princess-will-you-be argument, you can say to your friends, "Actually I'm gonna' channel Ursula, 'cos that sea witch can accessorize!"
Images: Disney (13); Giphy
