Entertainment

Proof You're Never Too Old For A T.Swift Concert

by Caitlyn Callegari

File under things that are crazy exciting: Taylor Swift’s 1989 World Tour. Things that are also pretty insanely exciting: Swift’s own personal Twitter countdown to the tour. Because, if there’s one good thing about being a Swift fan, it’s that you know no one is a bigger fan girl than she is. There’s no shame in any of our games, because Tay’s game is shameful enough… in the best way, of course. She is our leader, and we bow to her confident awkwardness.

Except, alright, maybe that statement isn’t totally true. If you’re an older, twenty-something T.Swift fan like me, you know the slightly off putting feeling you get when you attend a concert of hers and realize you’re like the Grandma Willow of the crowd. Little girls flee to you when they’ve lost their mothers because you look more like their mothers than you do them. It’s cool, though — you’ve been through puberty already and so you’ve already got a leg up on them, anyway.

In fact, being sorta, kinda (definitely) too old to be at a Taylor Swift concert has its advantages, too. If you’re feeling down about yourself, or you're embarrassed for wanting to go to a T.Swift concert as a grown ass adult, here are 13 reasons why it’s actually the best.

1. Great sight lines

Because you're taller than everyone. Or, you're at least old enough to wear heels and pretend to be taller than everyone.

2. Little to no drink lines

Step aside, youths. This seasoned woman is going to partake in a Capri Sun-looking margarita... or 7.

3. Camaraderie with the only people there older than you — the moms

Bonding over the screaming and the crowds and the standing for longer than 30 minutes. It's truly the pits, isn't it, Barbara?

4. You're closest in age to Swift. So basically, you're friends.

I mean, you always pay $150 to see your friends for two and a half hours, right?

5. You can finally afford the tour merchandise

Because you have a real job now and can afford the finer things in life. The finer things being a shirt emblazoned with Swift's two cats and the tour dates on the back.

6. You have complete control over the radio to and fro

So long to yours parents' Golden Oldies. There's a new sheriff in town. And that sheriff is about to enforce a nationwide, Taylor Swift-only music mandate.

7. You can pre- and postgame

If you're not driving, of course.

8. You're the only one there that actually knows what its like to feel 22

I don't know about you, but going to a T.Swift concert actually makes me feel 82.

9. There's a sense of empowerment that comes from knowing you are wiser than almost everyone in attendance

Because you've lived long enough to have been through most of the heartache Swift sings about. But those poor, naïve kids, they have no clue what they're in for.

10. You don't have to go through the trouble of making your own over-the-top signs

You can just stand next to the 12 year old who did.

11. NO PARENTS!

You can do whatever you want, whenever you want. Like, spending the intermission eating nachos and a soft pretzel and a bucket of chicken.

12. You can spot your friends easily in a crowd

They're the only ones not auditioning to be Taylor's body double.

13. It's a safe haven to express your otherwise supressed T.Swift devotion

You know, without your peers judging you. Because your peers aren't there. They're like married or tending to their infants or something.

Images: Giphy (13)