'Castle' Finds some 'National Treasure'

Last week, the Castle crew dealt with a man who claimed he was from the future. This week, they are faced with a mystery rooted in the past. A dead woman named Suzanna is the catalyst for, as everyone points out multiple times, a Da Vinci Code-meets-National Treasure-esque adventure. Because Castle is Castle, he understands Latin, is familiar with medieval occult symbols, and knows the exact value of a bucket of old-ass half-dimes. Oh, and he can sword fight. Eat your heart out, Robert Langdon.

During their quest to catch Suzanna's killer, Castle and Beckett find themselves on a treasure hunt. An actual treasure hunt. With maps and clues and riddles. I am a human being, so yes, you're right for assuming I loved this episode. While discussing some of the symbols with a professor, the professor tells Castle and Beckett that National Treasure is loaded with "odious factual errors." Pardon me while I put my world back together, because you just shattered it, PROFESSOR. You mean to tell me that movie isn't based on true events? And here I thought Nicolas Cage actually found a room full of coins in the bottom of a church. Color me deflated.

As their journey continues, Beckett and Castle learn that there is an overlap between the very real hidden Freemason treasure and a very fake scavenger hunt organized by some guy. That "some guy" is Ted Beneke, er, Nolan Burns. Nolan wants that Freemason loot but he can't figure out the puzzles on his own. Typical. So, being the weasel that he is, he started a scavenger hunt company based on Theodore Rose's letter/map from the late 1700s. While his customers run around all over New York City, Ted Beneke will quietly drum his fingers together until some n00b finds the treasure for him. That was his plan, anyway. Castle and Beckett call him OUT. Such a weasel.

Suzanna was a descendent of Theodore Rose and she had put together all of the pieces of the scavenger hunt. Get it, Suzanna! But whaddya know? Her cousin killed her before she could donate the coins to a museum.

So here's where I'm at: all I want to do is sign up for a historic scavenger hunt in NYC. They really exist! Life is amazing! Now that I've looked into it, I can't imagine not wanting to go. Number one, you'd totally find a ghost. Number two, you'd get to see creepy buildings and ancient architecture. Number three, if the scavenger hunt company hires actors, you'd feel like you were in a National Treasure/Indiana Jones/Da Vinci Code movie, and who doesn't want that? Number four, you might accidentally find a pile of Freemason money. You could dive into it, Scrooge McDuck-style. And number five, your cousin might kill you. Eh, never mind. I don't want to go on the scavenger hunt anymore.

Okay, take out step five. Replace it with a "sword fight a blacksmith in a poorly-lit barn" and you've got a deal.

Image: ABC/Carol Kaelson