Oh, you crazy Kardashians, always in the news being breasty or inappropriate or.... Kris. In defense of her younger sisters, Kylie and Kendall, Khloe Kardashian took to Twitter last night to rant at the public for defaming her sisters' good names, I guess. She was defending them (and herself) against allegations of hard partying, that intimated that Khloe condones it and partied with them, using the photo of Khloe and her siblings as evidence of them "clubbing together" when they were, in fact, at a Kanye West concert.
And maybe her rant was good, maybe, but let's be honest: No rant, on Twitter or otherwise, will ever compare to a Kanye West rant. Kanye is the unchallenged king of rants, so good that I can't even narrow the excellence down to one. Normally, it wouldn't feel fair to compare any rant to a Kanye rant, but given that Kanye is due to officially join the Kardashian klan soon, it only seems natural to hope that when in a rant-worthy situation, any and all Kardashians would hand it over to King Kanye.
Left to her own devices, Khloe went down the "don't make us something we're not," "come for me but leave my sisters alone," route, which is, ya know, noble or something, but imagine if Kanye had done it. After all, it was his concert, they're now sort of his family, just think of all the self-righteous rage we could have seen had Kanye taken the matter into his own hands. Just picture it:
"Imma let you finish but, the Kardashians had the best underage sobriety record this year."
Or better yet:"PAPARAZZI YOU ARE OUT OF LINE TO TRY AND DEFILE THE FIRST HONEST SISTERHOOD IN YEARS. I DON'T TAKE IT AS A JOKE, YOU DON'T HAVE HOTEL STAFF BEING RIDICULOUS REFUSING UNDERAGE DRINKERS ALCOHOL EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE KARDASHIANS. PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SHOES, OH WAIT, THAT MEANS YOU WOULD HAVE GOT TOO MUCH GOOD PUBLICITY IN YOUR LIFE BECAUSE AND RISQUE INSTAGRAM PHOTOS ARE GREAT FUCKING PUBLICITY. WOULD IT BE FUNNY IF THEY DID A SPOOF OF ALL THE STUPID PARTIES YOUR UNDERAGE CHILDREN THROW TO GET THEIR DRINK ON? YOUR FACES ARE CRAZY! PAPARAZZI, YOU LIKE THEM, THEY KNOW YOU, YOU WENT TO ALL THEIR FAMILY WEDDINGS. YOU MANIPULATIVE PROHIBITION-ERA-VALUES MEDIA MOTHERFUCKERS!"Or maybe just a simple yet sweet #NODISRESPECTTOBENAFFLECK could've done the trick here.
I don't know how that would fit in, I just wish it would. #NODISRESPECTTOKHLOE'SRANT
