In case you missed it, the Kardashian empire expanded yet again recently with the announcement of the totally necessary Keeping Up with the Kardashians spinoff series, Dash Dolls. Who am I kidding? Necessary or not, if these antics are Kim/Khloe/Kourtney-approved, I'm there. Dash Dolls follows employees of the Kardashians' DASH boutique, presumably as they do more riveting things than take inventory, eat sad sandwiches in the break room, and have their regulation clear vinyl handbags checked by their manager after their shifts are over. (My fellow retail survivors know what I'm talking about.) The point is, I doubt that everyday existence in even the trendiest, Kardashian-est store is exciting enough to warrant a camera crew trailing everyone around. I think it's more likely that DASH will just be home base for the cast; a refuge where they can talk behind each other's backs and change ensembles before heading out on the town, where the real stuff happens.
That town would be LA, by the way. DASH has outposts in New York and Miami too, but the E! synopsis confirms that it's the Hollywood DASH location that's getting the reality treatment. Which, you know — obviously. That's where the celebrities live. Or at least that's what the How To Write To Your Favorite Stars paperback I bought at an elementary school book fair in 1992 told me.
While the Kardashians themselves are staying behind the scenes on this show for the most part, their presence will loom over Dash Dolls like a trio of impeccably dressed patron saints. We've been promised an ensemble of "young, fun, and hot employees," with Khloe's twin besties Malika and Khadijah Haqq taking lead.
Setting the show in the Hollywood store makes sense, because, I am convinced that we will not be spending much time in the Hollywood store. Obviously there's no shortage of potential Doll after hours shenanigans to be had in Miami or New York, but I think that the producers are going for that west coast, California girl, drinks-at-the-Chateau-Marmont kind of vibe. And it'll be ultra convenient for when the a Kardashian wants to drop in and, reality gods willing, fire someone.
And at least one of the "Dolls" has to be an aspiring actress, right? This is the place for her. I want awkward auditions and "chance" networking opportunities with browsing starlets. I want PR-hungry up-and-comers popping in for the perfect body-con dress for whatever event is the most D-list these days. I want the Kardashian/West family to come by in matching outfits that cost more than an average human's six-month salary, North on Kim's hip and Kanye in full intimidation mode. I want semi-famous boyfriends and best friends of the Dolls, preferably cast members from some cable show. And with Dash Dolls set in the most fame-obsessed city in the world, I think all my reality wishes are about to come true.
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