Remember when Al Gore claimed to have invented the internet? New theory: Cats invented the internet, didn't want us to know, and paid him a hefty sum to distract everyone from the real truth. Since then, they've been slowly reclaiming the internet, one famous cat after another, all of them leading up to this moment: Meet your new overlord, Pompous Albert, the angriest cat ever. He is grumpier than Grumpy Cat, more militant than Colonel Meow, I suspect he could eat Lil Bub for breakfast. I wish I could give you some good news, guys, but I honestly can't think of a single place to hide. The internet is forever, and now Pompous Albert is, too.
Look, it's no secret that cats are no damn good. They steal our pizza, reject our affection, and probably use telepathic mind tricks to control our dreams while we sleep. But up until now, they have also aggressively tried to keep the internet at bay with their cuteness. Like, yeah, Taylor Swift's cat Meredith ripped her leg to shreds, but just look at that adorable little woobie. It was an accident, right?
WRONG. It's the wrong-ness that cats have been tricking us with since the dawn of LolCats. And you know what? Pompous Albert isn't hiding behind the cuteness masquerade. He is no kitty coward. Pompous Albert is one lean, mean, resting bitch face machine, and even though I fear him deeply, I respect him every bit as much.
YES, that is, in fact, a real cat. He is a Selkirk Rex, a type of cat that is known for its wooly coat.
Supposedly he is a rejected show cat, but the real truth is that the world is Albert's show and he's just letting us all live in it.
He is named after Albert Einstein, and honestly, I can see the resemblance. Like, if Albert Einstein were reincarnated as a really angry cat, this is pretty much exactly what it would look like.
Anyway, he already has 40,000 followers in the army he's assembling on Instagram, so you might as well just submit to his ultimate power right now. It's only a matter of time.
Images: pompous.albert/Instagram
