Pettifleur & Gamble Tudor It Out On 'RHOMelb'

Anyone who doesn't think The Real Housewives of Melbourne is one of the more enjoyable Real Housewives series can, as Jackie would say, shine off. It is easily in the top three. Whether the Melbourne Housewives attend a witch-themed murder mystery dinner party, hit golf balls together, or just get together for a casual midday meal, I am as pleased as La Mascara-spiked punch. Thursday night’s episode of RHOMelb wasn’t a particularly eventful hour of television, but that is not to say it wasn’t good. There was a gossip-filled lunch get-together, a speed dating adventure, a model casting, a group dinner where the guests were served pea soup in test tubes, and a heated conversation about old money vs. new money. I repeat: There was a heated conversation about old money vs. new money. Somewhere, Ruth DeWitt Bukater smiled as she took a sip of brandy from a snifter.

For the past few episodes, we’ve watched the Gamble vs. Janet drama spiral further out of control, but all the while, the Gamble vs. Pettifleur drama has been bubbling quietly underneath the surface. I'd forgotten about it entirely. But at Chyka’s dinner party, it all came back, it all came back to me then. There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light when Gamble confronted Pettifleur. I guess Gamble had assigned Pettifleur the nickname Nouveau Riche Barbie at some point? And Pettifleur was offended and wanted an explanation? This quickly devolved into a weird back and forth about family and money. My entire body tensed up because, like, why is this argument happening? At some point, Pettifleur asked Gamble how many generations her family has had its wealth, and then she wondered IF GAMBLE'S MONEY GOES BACK TO THE TUDORS.

PETTIFLEUR ASKED GAMBLE IF SHE’S A DESCENDANT OF THE TUDOR DYNASTY. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. SHE KNEW THE ANSWER WAS NO BEFORE SHE ASKED THE QUESTION. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I am in awe of Pettifleur right now. Beautiful work, Pettifleur.

Gamble clarified she is not actually that old of old money. She explained her wealth comes fr— SERIOUSLY WHY IS THIS ARGUMENT HAPPENING? Like, are we on the Titanic right now? If so, Team Molly Brown all the way.

Just as I caught my breath after the salty Tudors dig, Gamble explained why she came up with the Nouveau Riche Barbie moniker: “Because you didn’t like my vintage Indian handbag.”

I am obsessed with this show.

Image: John Tsiavis/Bravo