No one has ever understood me quite like my big sister does. And I’m not talking about understanding my lifestyle choices or agreeing on which Kardashian sister is the coolest. In most ways, me and my sister actually couldn't be more different: I’m a small-chested, blonde heathen with the mouth of Sarah Silverman, the stress-relieving habits of Ilana Wexler, and zero desire to have kids until I’m at least 30. My big sister on the other hand? She’s basically a curvy, brunette Martha Stewart who’s somehow managed to become a registered nurse, a fantastic mother to two beautiful babies, and a homeowner by the age of 27.
No, when I say no one has ever understood me like my big sister, I mean it literally. As kids, we actually had our own secret language, and before I was old enough to communicate with real, English words, my sister perfectly translated every bit of the toddler gibberish that came out of my adorable little mouth. I don’t know how she did it, but she did, and it still flabbergasts my parents to this day.
Of course, as we’ve grown older, our special sister language has evolved. We don’t go running around muttering fake words anymore, because since we’re all grown up now, that would just get really weird really fast. But when the situation calls for it, you best believe we can still communicate sister to sister without anyone else knowing what the hell is going on.
So the next time you find yourself in the company of sisters, don’t even bother trying to understand them if they exhibit any one of the following five signs. Because chances are, they probably have their own language. Here's how you know.
1. They're Using Words You Know, But You Couldn't Be More Confused As To What They're Talking About
Just because sisters are using words you think you're familiar with doesn't mean you'll really know what they're talking about. After years and years of being dragged from one boring family function to another, enduring many of the same dreaded after-school activities by their well-meaning parents, and finding themselves stranded at seriously disappointing sleepovers over and over, sisters have no choice but to develop their own set of code words and phrases.
When we were kids, "I feel sick" meant "call mom to come pick us up, like, now" and "I need to check on my rabbits/kittens/parakeet" meant "let's leave this party asap." Maybe it was rude of us, but we just couldn't go to a social gathering without an escape plan/signal phrase. I mean, how else were we supposed to deal with all that boring nonsense?
2. They're Saying Nothing, But It's Obvious They're Communicating
My sister and I can say more to each other in one look than most people can say in an entire conversation, and it's always been that way between us. I can't tell you how many times we've used this tactic to get a message across to one another, whether that message was "Can you believe this guy?" or "Dude, I've got to pee. Like, now." or "I swear to God if you start laughing at this weirdo I'll start laughing too. So, DON'T. But, OH MY GOD, isn't this hilarious? Let's laugh about it later." I don't know how we've always been able to communicate like this, but we have, and I love it.
3. Their Words Don't Match Their Tone Of Voice
With sisters, kind words aren't always kind words, and vice versa. It's relatively common for me to call my sister a jerk whilst giggling like an idiot. It's also pretty common for my sister to lay down some seriously hard to hear (but much needed) truth on me in a voice that would pair better with an offer to whip me up a stack of buttermilk pancakes.
I know it can be weird to watch these kinds of exchanges, and the mutual reactions probably never make sense to you, but they make sense to us.
4. They're Making Lots Of Goofy, Random Noises
At least once during every visit I have with my sister we end up squeaking, squealing, and/or playfully shrieking at the top of our lungs. Generally it's out of excitement to see each other, or sometimes, it's just because we’re both really stoked about the coffee we’re brewing (and about to consume over a past due gossip session). But other times, our goofy noises actually mean something that only the two of us know about.
Growing up, we went through a phase where we meowed at each other like weirdos. But it wasn't just for the sake of looking like lovable goofballs, we actually used our goofy meows to convey emotions and reactions that only the two of us could decipher. These days, we mainly keep our weird noises to a variation of giggle-screams, but occasionally, (and embarrassingly) a weird meow will slip out.
5. One Seemingly Harmless Word Or Sentence Appears To Change The Whole Mood
A conversation between sisters can go from mega chill to mega pissed off in a matter of seconds, and you'll have absolutely no idea why. But don't worry about it. Sisters share so much history they're bound to develop their own list of trigger words and phrases that no one but them will ever know. My sister can say something seemingly nice to me, (and say it in a nice tone) like, "If that's what you really want" or "Only you know what you should do" and the next thing you know I've slipped into a frustrated, resting bitch face.
My advice in these situations? Give them space, let it pass, and don't play detective. Because you couldn't learn all the ins and outs of their language if you wanted to, and they like it that way.
Images: Rod Waddington/Flikr; Giphy/(5)
