How To Deal When His Penis Is Too Freaking Big

Men love to brag about the size of their penis, whether they're well-endowed or not, but can his penis be too big? Some say bigger is better but ultimately there CAN be too much of a good thing — especially if you are the one it's being thrust into. But what can you do?

Fit issues can seriously affect relationships because a lot of couples don't know how to overcome it – or how to talk about it. So much so that it can even lead to infidelity.

“One study from Africa reported that women were more likely to have an outside partner when their male partner had a larger penis. We found that 2.6 percent of women in one of our studies ended a relationship with a partner, in part, because their partner had a penis they felt was too large,” says Nicole Prause, Ph.D.

The most important thing is not to force a fit. If intercourse is painful and the usual issues (e.g., being sufficiently aroused, lubrication, etc.) have been addressed, consider the possibility that you may need to engage in activities other than intercourse to be intimate. “I realize that many people consider intercourse the ideal, but there are really no data suggesting that there is anything particularly special about methods of partnered orgasm,” says Prause.

1. Pregame

When your partner has a particularly large penis, lube and plenty of stimulation are your best friends. "Your best bet is to have at least one orgasm prior to penetration. It can be from oral sex or masturbation or using a toy, whatever you like,” says Jenny Block, author of O Wow: Discovering Your Ultimate Orgasm . Once you come, you are more open and wet and more able to accommodate a larger partner.

O Wow: Discovering Your Ultimate Orgasm , $11, Amazon

2. Take It Slow

Taking it slow and using lube can also ease the way. If it hurts, stop. Tearing is a definite and dangerous possibility. OUCH. “But if you take your time and make sure you are properly lubricated and extremely aroused, you will have a much better chance of making it work,” says Block.

3. Put a ring on it

A penis ring, that is. He can purchase and use a penis ring which, when worn, reduces the length of his shaft and shortens the volume for intake, says Dr. Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist.

4. Use Lube. Lots Of lube.

Use silicone lubricant and lots of it, to coat the penis and make the surface slippery enough to slip right in. This won't work you are really tight, but if things are just a bit snug, this can make a big difference, says sex educator Ellen Barnard, MSSW. A snug-fitting condom on him will also smooth out the wrinkly bits and the combination of tight latex and silicone lube makes it a slip-and-slide sausage.

5. Breathe

Work on relaxing and breathing deeply, especially if you've tried to have intercourse multiple times and experienced pain each time, says Barnard. Pain makes us tighten the pelvic floor muscles to protect the vagina from...pain. It's a tough cycle.

6. Try New Positions

Finding the right positions can be very helpful, and that will differ among couples. If length is the only issue, the spooning position usually works, as does her flat on her stomach. Her flat on her back works too if her legs are together on the bed (added bonus is the clit can be better stimulated this way). But this last position can be challenging for the man, especially if either of them are a bit overweight. Occasionally a woman will find anal to be easier, as counterintuitive as that sounds.

If you find he’s too long, try sex positions that allow for full thrusting, but shallow penetration, says Dr. Jess, Astroglide's Resident Sexologist.

7. Give Him A Hand

If he’s more than a mouthful bring your hands into the act the next time you have oral sex. This gives him continuous sensation and gives you control of how deep he goes into your mouth, says Katrina “Rainsong” Messenger. Experiment with different strokes in your hand-mouth combo.

There is a such a thing as too big – or at least too big for certain women — and there is no shame in saying, “That’s just not for me."