With Furious 7, the seventh film in the Fast and Furious franchise coming out this Friday, Apr. 3, now is probably a good time to get ready for its release. And I don't mean making plans with your friends as far as what theater you're going to see it at and when — although you should definitely look into that, otherwise you'll run out of time to see it fifteen times in a row like everybody else, and you'll sound like a total dunce by the time Oscar season rolls around. (Because didn't we mention? I really want this movie to get an Academy Award this year, and I don't care who knows it.) Instead, what you should really be thinking about is how to talk to other humans about it; definitely get prepped on that. Specifically if you're planning on talking to female Fast and Furious fans about Furious 7 , in all of its glories, there are some comments you're gonna want to leave out of your conversation, just so you don't find yourself on the receiving end of some serious stink eye.
I don't know if you've noticed over the past seven films, but this is an action franchise. And if being a female fan of it is any indication, that alone is supposed to be enough to turn us ladies right off, as if just the fact we're girls somehow prevents us from having a rollicking good time watching people fight each other and cars essentially perform magic tricks. What's not to love there?
So, before Furious 7 hits theaters on Friday — and just in case you're still having a tough time grasping my point — here are eight things you should never say to a female fan of this franchise.
"Isn't this more of a dude movie?"
Sorry what? I couldn't hear you because my eyeballs were rolling out of my head.
"What do you do during the action sequences?"
Paint my toenails and braid the hair of the person in front of me, why?
"Are women funny?"
Not even specific to the movie, I just couldn't be more tired of hearing this.
"Haha, it's funny because women can't drive."
Safe to assume you don't want a ride home then?
"I wish they got a sexier girl for the Michelle Rodriguez role."
You can get right out.
"I could take any of these ladies in a fight."
OMG — you're so adorable.
"Muscles on a girl are so unattractive."
Feeling the same way about your complete and utter lack of brain right now.
Anything you wouldn't say to a male Furious 7 fan
Get it? Got it? Good.
Images: Scott Garfield/Universal Pictures; giphy (8)
