Why are you guys even reading this crazy article? You guys should all be busy dating people who do CrossFit because they have buns of steel. DUH. OK fine that isn’t the only answer, but it’s a damn good start. CrossFit has been slowly taking over the world like the bubonic plague. But in a good way. Like the total opposite. CrossFitters make great boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives for a multitude of reasons. To be fair, they make great one-night stands too, but that’s not what this article is about.
Sure CrossFit seems somewhat maniacal in its intense methodology and cult-y enough to make Warren Jeffs quiver in fear (or excitement?) but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its good qualities. For example, during a CrossFit workout you may at any moment see people taking their shirts off mid-workout. Hello eye candy! Full disclosure, I highly enjoy CrossFit because I like pretending it’s elementary school recess. Also I like someone barking orders at me. But I can’t afford it, so if anyone from CrossFit wants to sponsor me, please contact me via Twitter. Moving right along here are the top five reasons CrossFitters make the best partners.
1. CrossFitters are fit as all hell
These little gym monkeys have bodies that are tighter than (I'll let you finish that). Not only do they spend a bazillion hours working out, they actually work out REALLY hard. It’s not like throwing a Jillian Michaels DVD on and half-assedly working out while you try to prepare a mustard-glazed salmon at the same time.
2. CrossFitters are awesome in bed
If your visual and tactile senses aren’t already aroused by the idea of a fit bod, think about this; exercise improves your sex life. Turns out all that endurance comes in quite handy when you’re knocking boots. Plus exercise releases endorphins and increases self-esteem, which means your partner will be even friskier. A good thing if you ask me.
3. CrossFitters are sociable
CrossFit isn’t just about working out. It’s a lifestyle. Birthdays, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and baby showers are the norm for CrossFitters. Giggles are shared, hugs are exchanged, and high-fives are thrown around. What I’m saying is CrossFitters are fun. You can bring them to a party and not worry they’re going to be attached to your arm the whole time. Like some sort of 5th (or 6th if you’re a guy) appendage. Or a barnacle on a piece of wood.
4. CrossFitters are committed
What kind of crazy mofo is going to commit to a training program that requires them to do 150 burpees and 80 jump squats in a row until they puke? OK puking is optional, but still that’s a pretty MAJ commitment. Do you want to date some little wussy woo who will flee at the smallest difficulty? Um, no. Listen to my girls TLC. NO SCRUBS. CrossFitters are willing to do the dirty work because they know it will pay off. Which bodes well in both laundry and relationships.
5. CrossFitters are confident and adventurous
CrossFitters aren’t wallflowers. Kermit might think it’s not easy being green, but it’s even less easy showing up at a gym knowing you’re going to push your body to the brink and be yelled at the whole time. That takes balls or ovaries, as I like to say. CrossFitters are self-assured and courageous. And that, ladies and gents is very sexy.
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