The Best Hair Of Xtina Agui-hair-a

When the universe first heard 17-year-old Christina Aguilera hit the high E above middle C, the universe knew it needed to batten down the hatches and prepare for a storm. A vocal storm. It was clear from day one, er, listen one that the petite songstress is a bonafide powerhouse. Less clear from day one, however, was how good her music video hair game would be; the flat ironed platinum hairstyle she rocked in the video for “Genie In a Bottle” was lovely, of course (and you know darn well I tried and failed to achieve that look an embarrassing number of times), but it was only the beginning. From “Come On Over” on, her wigs, her weaves, her dye jobs, and her hairdos have brought the heat.

But which of her music video 'dos brings the hottest heat? Funny you should ask!

After I watched all of her music videos, I selected Xtina's 11 best hairstyles. And then, I did the impossible: I ranked the works of art. My ranking method: the louder I gasped at the hairstyle, the better the rank. (I know, I know. It's all so scientific and impressive. Hand me my Nobel Prize.)

Without further ado, here are The Official Xtina Agui-hair-a Rankings:

#11: "The Voice Within"

The 'do: Jet black + loose waves. Basically the opposite of her "Genie In a Bottle" era.Reason for rating: Yes, this is the perfect hair for this video. If it was a bright color or teased to the heavens, it wouldn't fit the tone. However, compared to the other coiffures featured on this list, it's a little too chill.

#10: "Candyman"

The 'do: She pulls off red hair, blonde hair, and black hair in the same scene.Reason for rank: While sporting three hairstyles at once is an impressive feat, the actual hairstyles leave me wanting more.

#9: "Your Body"

The 'do: She serves the judges My Little Pony ombré realness.Reason for rank: It reminds me of Hollywood Hair Barbie... but it's missing the star stencil fun. Needs more star stencils.

#8: "Genie In A Bottle"

The 'do: Messy updo.Reason for rank: Though we never really see what the hairstyle looks like from the back, I like to assume the updo is held together entirely by butterfly clips. (It was '99, after all.) I LOVE BUTTERFLY CLIPS.

...Is it fair to rank something based on an assumption? Probably not. But whatever. It's my list, my rules.

#7: "Ain't No Other Man"

The 'do: Bettie Page? More like Blondie Page! Reason for rank: I'm just jealous I can't make short bangs work.

#6: "Not Myself Tonight"

The 'do: Oo! What have we here? Professional with a pop of color! Reason for rank: As fantastic as the pink cinnamon roll hairstyle is, the yellow eyeshadow is the true star of this look. Overshadowed by eye shadow.

#5: "Keeps Gettin' Better"

The 'do: It's Carrie Bradshaw-as-Catwoman.Reason for rank: As fabulous as this 'do is, it isn't her most jaw-dropping voluminous 'do.

#4: "Dirrty"

The 'do: She really nails the "oops I forgot to shower for a whole week" look.Reason for rank: Hooray for water conservation!

#3: "Come On Over"

The 'do: The red lowlights were the start of Xtina's hair adventures. (Hairdventures?)Reason for rank: It isn't the craziest hairstyle, but the nostalgia of it all counts for something.

#2: "Fighter"

The 'do: Moth glamour.Reason for rank: This takes one of my least favorite things on the planet (moths invading personal space) and makes it look beautiful. Truly remarkable.

#1: "Lady Marmalade"

The 'do: It’s crimped! It’s braided! It’s teased! It may or may not be sentient! There’s more hair than Xtina! Reason for rank: The only thing in this video with more volume than Xtina's hair is Xtina's voice.

Images: CAguileraVEVO/YouTube (11)