It seems Lady Gaga was trying to go so meta with her new album concepts for ARTPOP that she's now permanently confused nudity with fashion. The cover art for her album was nudypants, and that weird Venus look at the end of her VMA performance left very little to the imagination. And now — well, what do ya know! It's Gaga. Naked. Again. Theoretically, she's wearing a moss dress, but, if we're being honest, it's less of a dress and more of a sprinkling of green to cover Gaga's bits. What is even weirder is that her moss-covered bod is promo art for Gaga's R.Kelly duet, "Do What U Want." (Any sentence with the name "R. Kelly" immediately makes things weirder.) Regardless of how we feel about the maintenance and clean-up of such a gown, this whole working-large-hair-and-little-else thing is clearly part of ARTPOP's vision, so uhh... art? But, unfortunately — considering the looks Gaga has produced in the past — it's boring art.
A promotional tour consisting of Lady Gaga covering her boobs and business with nature isn't exactly going to hold our eye, and given how disappointing her last video was, I'd feel kind of let down if the next few simply feature the pop star writhing around with tree bark or sand or something. Gaga has become a fashion icon, but every artist these days is taking their clothes off. If Gaga wants to stay on top, she's going to have to do more than cover her cooch with moss and frizz out her wig. After you take a look at her "Do What U Want" cover art below, read some ideas that I think go well with the general Haus of Gaga aesthetic. Lady Gaga should consider wearing...
1) Recycled Bike Tires
2) Live Worms: In fact, it kind of weird that she hasn't already worn live worms, isn't it?
3) Fish Scales
4) A Hood Made From Tree Bark: I guess I'm willing to concede one further nature-related outfit, but only one.
5) Human Hair
Get back to who you are, Gaga, because who you are is much cooler than the fact that you have a nice body. We're well aware now, so put your clothes back on and blow our minds by truly being original.
