Cats are notorious for not being the most considerate or caring of animals. In fact, there is strong evidence that suggests your cat probably wants to kill you. Plus, there's some odd, new research floating around that suggests your furry friend is invading your brain. Outside of all these things, though, there are also the mundane, every day terrors that cats commit. My cat, Charlie, is no different. He does absolutely heinous things, things that put him among the ranks of some of the most horrifying kittens ever seen, but that doesn't stop me from being a crazy cat lady who loves him dearly.
A few days ago, I returned home to find that he had ripped up three inches of carpet in my apartment. Thankfully, my roommate has two cats—we basically have a clowder (that means group of cats, you dog lovers)— and understands how awful kittens can be. But in all honesty, my cat is the true demon of our bunch. He's a cross-eyed, furry fiend who commits a multitude of terrors in my home. Not only does he rip the carpet, but he tears the fabric on my chairs, throws litter out of his box, and has this insane knack for knocking things off of countertops.
However, his most horrifying acts come when I've got a mascara wand in my hand or a table full of make-up brushes. My cat's one goal in life appears to be destroying my beauty rituals. If your cat is the same way, just remember: You're not alone, and also, there's a solution to all this furry madness. Here are the 5 ways your cat might be killing your beauty routine and how you can avoid it from happening ever again. Learn from my mistakes — my fluffball has taught me valuable lessons.
1. H2-NOOOOOO
We all like healthy skin and staying hydrated, but don't put a glass of water anywhere your cat can access it. Because "How dare you think that you own anything, human?," says your cat.
2. "Summertime Sadness" Is Actually About Your Self-Tanner
Word to the wise: Your cat needs be in a different room until your self-tanner dries. Your kitty rubbing against your legs is all well and good until you look like a bronzed zebra.
3. Your New Makeup Brushes = Your Cat's New Favorite Toys
Guard your makeup brushes with your life. That very fluffy, kitty swat-worthy end of your powder brush? That's your cat's new favorite toy. They will steal what you love and feel no remorse.
4. If You Leave Your Makeup Within Their Reach, They Will Knock It Off For You
RIP my Urban Decay Naked 2 Basics palette sitting at the edge of my end table. Remember: the higher the product, the closer it is to being safe from your cat.
5. Wiggling A Mascara Wand Back & Forth In Front Of Your Cat Could End Badly For Your Eyes
Always know where your cat is lest you end up with no eye due to your mascara wand or eyeliner colliding with your cornea. Here's an idea: Apply your eye makeup standing up, far from your cat's reach.
Of course, no matter what our furry friends may do to get in the way of getting dolled up, we'll always forgive them (even if it costs us a new set of brushes and maybe even an eye).
Images: Giphy (6)
