I Met A Porn Star — And It Changed Everything

I never expected to meet porn star Keisha, and I certainly never thought I'd like her. I’m seated in a cramped space — stage left, waiting to go on. This theater doesn’t have much of a backstage, in fact the two small side areas are about as back-stagey as it gets. In the middle of this tiny space, is a circular staircase that even the stage manager calls scary. One of my many fears is a fear of heights, and there’s no way I’m going up that thing, so I just sit on a chair quietly. As I read over my piece in my head, a woman with long, curly brown hair dressed in skin-tight black pants and t-shirt, makes her way down the perilous spiral staircase, and stops at the third stair from the bottom.

“Hi,” she says in a friendly way. She seems completely at ease in her body as she fearlessly goes up and down the stairs a few times, then sits down on a speaker, and asks me about my performing experience.

I have just met porn star Keisha.

In Los Angeles, we have a lot of spoken words shows and I have performed in many of them. Tonight, I’m reading an essay in the long running Tasty Words Show :The Sexy Beast edition. Wendy, who produces, and directs it, likes to feature a variety of writer/performers and casts everybody; from the famous and infamous to the completely unknown. Sometimes it's the least likely people who have the best stories.

The porn star and I are in the early show as well as a former Miss America’s daughter, a sexy septuagenarian, and a four other very talented writers/performers. Everybody wants to be in one of Wendy’s shows because they always sell out, and who doesn’t want to play to a packed house? But I wonder why a porn star, who’s had sex in front of millions of people, in hundreds of ways, would want to tell her story to a comparably small audience.

When I first heard that a XXX adult film actress would be one of the readers in the show with me, I had my doubts that she could be real enough to tell a story. I pictured a human blow-up doll, with plastic everything, and an inflated sexuality.

I think of myself as sexual, but since I’m plus-size, I’m not always comfortable sharing my sexuality. I keep it private. How could a porn star, and I ever relate to one another?

I don’t have anything against sex workers, and actually know a couple of strippers, a sex educator, and a sex and sensuality coach, but I’ve never known a porn star. I’ve seen the AVN show on HBO, and the porn stars on that seem trashy, and kind of empty. It didn’t occur to me that I had so many preconceived notions about a group of people whose stories, hearts, and minds were as varied as any group of human beings — that the human experience can be enough of a common denominator.

I don’t like it when people pre-judge me because of the way I look, why did I think it was okay to assume things about someone who worked in the world of adult movies?

The porn star, Keisha, turned out to be very warm, and down-to-earth. She couldn’t have been friendlier or sweeter, and ended up not being at all like I expected.

Keisha, has performed in over 300 adult films, including Bubble Butts 9, Mammary Lane, and Fatal Erection. But this was Keisha’s first spoken word show, and she was nervous.

She's barefoot as her 7-inch black Stiletto heels wait on a table beside the staircase. Those shoes look dangerous and she obviously doesn't want to wear them any longer than necessary. I was expecting cotton-candy pink lips, but her makeup is very natural — her lipstick a muted berry. The only physical part of her that would give any indication of career in porn are her extremely large breasts.

I go on before her, and read a story that involves obsession, group catfishing and about 10 different ways of says of saying self-pleasuring. Everybody seems to love it, and when I come off stage, Keisha gives me a big thumbs up and says, “That was great.” Then she goes on stage wearing her porn star shoes.

Though I didn’t see it, I know she took off her top saying that she had never performed before a crowd fully dressed. She didn’t get completely naked however, which in some ways wouldn’t have surprised me.

In her piece, she spoke of how she had never been molested, had had a happy childhood, and from very early on enjoyed sex. She mentioned being called a slut in school, and some struggles she had along the way, but seemed to have no regrets. She told her story in a light way, and the audience ate it up.

When she returned back to our side of the stage, she actively listened to each person who performed after her. I could tell that she was trying to learn, and get as much out of this event as possible. I got the feeling that this is the way she is about life. Where I am afraid to go out of my comfort zone, she throws herself into every experience.

When the show ended, all the performers held hands, and took a bow—ending my meeting with the porn star. We become Facebook friends, and occasionally like each other’s status updates.

I learned that you shouldn’t generalize about someone because of their job or the way they look. Everybody has a story to tell, and if you’re open enough to hear it, you’ll be surprised, delighted and entertained.

Meeting Keisha and seeing her comfort level with her own body, opened my eyes. Sure I may not be porn-star material, but my body serves me well, even with all its imperfections.

Images: Keisha; Giphy