Martin Luther Insult Generator Is Everything

We all know that Martin Luther was a theologian, scholar, father of the Reformation, and founder of Protestantism. But did you know he was also basically the original mean girl? The Martin Luther insult generator is basically the best thing that has happened to me maybe ever. I know, thanks to my "Renaissance and Reformation" course in college, that Luther could be serpent-tongued in his condemnations of the Catholic church and its followers, but I didn't realize just how acerbic—and how weirdly into farting—he was. (“But I resist the devil, and often it is with a fart that I chase him away." Oh. Okay. Cool story, Martin Luther.)

As I flipped through all the insults, I realized that so many of them retained their original bite and basically translated to insults we would use today. To wit, I have gathered some of my favorites along with suggestions as to when you should use them.

Oh no he didn't...

"You think like this, 'As I am a crude ass, and do not read books, so there is no one in the world who reads them; rather when I let my braying hee-haw, hee-haw resound, or even let out a donkey's fart, then everyone will have to consider it pure truth."

When to use it...

In lieu of doing a cartoonish impression of someone when you talk in an idiot voice.

Oh no he didn't...

The very Devil himself would thank you for such an event, and no one but the miserable devil and his devilish scum would go there.

When to use it...

When you need to let someone know just how lame their party is.

Oh no he didn't...

I can with good conscious consider you a fart-ass and an enemy of God.

When to use it...

When someone is a fart-ass... obviously.

Oh no he didn't...

You dear asses.

When to use it...

Use it interchangeably with "Oh bless your heart..."

Oh no he didn't...

Listen, you ass, you are a particularly crass ass, indeed, you are a filthy sow.

When to use it...

When you are drunkenly searching for the worst insult you can think of, but you keep coming up short.

Oh no he didn't...

It is the old dragon from the abyss of hell who stands before me.

When to use it...

When you run into your ex.

Oh no he didn't...

I would like to see you say aloud what you write, for if you did, people would gather with chains and bars and out of sympathy would seize and bind you as demoniacs.

When to use it...

Whenever you are on the internet.

Oh no he didn't...

Get out in the name of a thousand devils and break your neck before you leave the city.

When to use it...

In place of "Bye Felicia."

There are so many good ones, I couldn't list them all here, but enjoy discovering (and using) some of these on your own.

Images: Getty Images; Giphy (5); Photobucket(2)