Life
I Talked To People On Tinder Using Only Emojis, And Here's What Happened— PHOTOS
A few years ago, before everyone and their mom had a smartphone, no one had to stress over whether to use the confetti hat or clapping hands when trying to convey excitement to a potential partner. But now, using emojis (and trying to figure out on earth they mean), are very much apart of texting and dating. If you’re an emojiholic, you probably broke out the double round of beer emoji when you heard that people who use emojis have more active sex lives than those who don’t.
I took this VERY important knowledge to the place where sex and emojis thrive: Tinder. With my tagline “Talk emoji to me”, I set out to see how well my matches could keep up, how creative (or creepy) they’d get, and obviously, how much sex they’re having.
Some didn’t quite get the emjois-only rule, some understood but didn’t care to have a conversation that made any sense, and others were total pros who mapped out our lives together. But I’ll let you decipher the meanings.
I present to you: Talking in only emojis on Tinder.
I thought I made it clear we would only be emoji-ing. Not everyone understood.
I’m guessing he misinterpreted my “punch in the face” for a “fist bump”.
Sextimate: Tries often but does not succeed.
It went on like this for another hour or so until my battery died — and never once did it make any sense.
Sextimate: Based on science, he could be a nympho.
Not ONE emoji from Matt.
Sextimate: Celibate.
I think we just had our first fight. Not sure why.
Sextimate: Lackluster sex life due to no patience.
Like most great love stories, it all started with pizza and a boat ride to Italy and ended with bribery.
Sextimate: Michael gets down frequently.
Great, the second time in one day a Tinder husband runs away when we have emoji children.
Sextimate: Marco thinks he gets down frequently.
Not sure how this escalated into a cop fight but at least I found out now he doesn’t believe in marriage.
Sextimate: Bryn may or may not get down frequently.
He managed to ask my heritage using a boat AND self-promote his music through emojis. Genius.
Sextimate: Sex Machine
I’m just not ready. OK, KEV?
Sextimate: Currently experiencing a dry spell.
Can you at least try and pretend to get to emoji-know me first?
Sextimate: Ugh.
I think we both know the answer to that, Brian. Related: Why is everyone on here named Brian?
Sextimate: In a rut and not getting out any time soon.
