Apparently Taylor Swift recently insured her legs for $40 million, and I know what you're thinking — "That is a totally reasonable amount of money, and I will probably put my wallet in my pocket right now and head out the door to the insurance store to do the same! Lunch at Per Se everyone? On me!". JK, you're not, because most of us won't see that amount of cheddar in our whole entire lifetimes on this earth, and even if we did, we would cling to it like misers because we don't have money legs. (Don't worry, you don't have to tell me that I can't get away with using the word "cheddar", I could feel it as soon as it came out of my mouth or got typed out of my fingers or whatever.)
But regardless, since none of us can celebrate Swift's move to insure those kicky pins by making the same decision ourselves, let's honor her in a different way... by figuring out what other body parts she should get patented. That's the same as getting them insured, right? Taking them down to the Patent Office? You guys I am really on a roll today. Here are the body parts I think Tay-Tay should throw down money for, now that she has her legs covered.
Her Vocal Chords
Do I really need to explain this one? SHE A SANGER, MAMA.
Her Heart
Breaking it is what's helping her write all these songs, so she might as well cash in at the same time, know what I mean ladies??
Those Bangs
Get them an agent already.
Her Hair In General
I mean come on.
Her Bellybutton
We've already seen it once, so the value can only depreciate from here.
Her Teardrops
Immortalizing them forever in song with "Teardrops On My Guitar" is a step in the right direction, but I feel like we can do more.
Her Fingers
Speaking of guitar, you're gonna need them fingers to play one, gal!!!!!! (Also to blow kisses, which is v. crucial in her life.)
Her Stinkeye
Easily the most important player in the game right now.
Did you catch all that Taylor? Swing by the bank on the way if you need to, but you gotta get these body parts locked down ASAP.
Images: giphy (8)
