Look, if you give me an excuse to incorporate Disney into my life, I will take it and run, both figuratively and literally: Not ten minutes ago, I shed my Cinderella running sneakers and Rapunzel running shirt and then sang "Let It Go" in the shower. Normally, I'd say I'm obsessed so hard with Disney, but in light of today's newest addition to the list of (totally unapproved, unsanctioned, likely lawsuit-inducing) Disney merch, I might refrain from that particular wording. Just in case you were looking to get rid of that shred of your innocence, someone made a Disney princess-themed vibrator. We have officially reached the peak of human weirdness.
I've heard of some bizarre sex toys in my time, including and not limited to the glittery ice dildo that was supposed to be representative of Edward Cullen's dick, but I genuinely never anticipated this. The company selling them is called Shopjeen, who, earlier this week, posted a photo of an adorable little pink vibrator with Jasmine and Ariel in the background to Instagram with the caption: "Yass girl all princesses do it". I mean, there was a ton of time we didn't see Jasmine on screen and Ursula did have that whole bad guy number that went on for a few minutes, so, sure, maybe they were getting busy with themselves.
I have to say that while probably super illegal, this is also rather bold. They may be selling sex toys but they clearly give no fucks, seeing as Disney will probably be on them by the time we all finish digesting our morning cereal. But just in case you do manage to purchase one in the small window they have left before our overlord Mickey shuts it down, here are some song suggestions for optimal Disney vibrator usage:
1. "Can You Feel The Love Tonight?" from The Lion King
2. "Let It Go," from Frozen
3. "Go The Distance," from Hercules
4. "You've Got A Friend In Me," from Toy Story
See you all in hell!
Here's the picture that will shatter your childhood forever:
Images: Disney; Giphy (3); Imgur
