Life
6 Things Your Mother Was Probably Right About
Moms are full of wisdom. I have one of those moms who is vaguely insane (in the good way), but always shockingly, annoying right when it comes to pretty much all of life. Moms just know, you know? They've been there, done that, seen some shit, and come up with a bunch of answers to questions you didn't even know you were asking. Hopefully some day when/if we all become parents, we'll suddenly find ourselves imbued with the same mystical knowing.
The problem with mothers being all-knowing is that teenagers also happen to be all-knowing, albeit not in the same way. Teenagers are all knowing in the way of Kayne "Can't Tell Me Nothing" West, which unfortunately means that almost all a mother's infinite wisdom is basically completely wasted on her ridiculous children, who are entirely too arrogant and headstrong to hear it. It's like the Spice Girls sang, "You used to be my only enemy/ never letting me be free/ catching me in places that I knew I shouldn't be." And also like the Spice Girls, while we all used to roll our eyes at our mothers when they tried to give us advice (which we all see now, in hindsight, was completely CORRECT), we're now recanting our earlier belligerence because yes, mother is misunderstood and yes, mother knows best. Here are six things we can probably all agree our moms were right about all along (but that maybe we refused to listen to because puberty):
1. You could have definitely waited longer to have sex
Remember when you were 15 (or however old you were) and suddenly became hell bent on losing your virginity? "Losing it" was the hugest of deals as a teenager (which, looking back, is just about the only thing we had right about our views on sex). And your mom was all, "You should wait a little longer," and you were all, "Go away, mom, you don't know my life! I'm a sexual God/Goddess and you're just old fashioned." Well, your mom was right. Even if you find yourself in a safe teenage relationship, and you felt ready for sex, and the experience wasn't tragically bad or upsetting in any way, it still wouldn't have been a bad thing to wait just a little longer. The whole "you have your whole life to be an adult, but not forever to be a kid" thing made NO sense to us as teenagers; We didn't WANT to be kids anymore. We couldn't WAIT to have our "whole lives" to be adults, and losing our v-card seemed an instrumental part of making that transition happen.
What I wish we could've understood is how wise (and ironically, grown up) it would've been to try and hold on to just being a kid who doesn't have to worry about potential babies and pap tests and spending money on condoms all the time. I get that being a horny teenager is a hell of a force, but when your mom uncomfortably told you that there were "other things you could do," she was right.
2. That awful friend you had that your mom hated? Yeah, you should have cut her loose a long time ago.
If I had a dollar for every friend that walked through my house only for my mom to take one look at and immediately veto their existence in my life, people who I always defiantly insisted on being friends with anyway, but who eventually monumentally screwed me over proving my mother right, I'd be a rich woman.
3. Don't swear
Moms are right about swearing: Those are words which should only be used on very special occasions, like when you're really truly mad, and you should never swear directly at someone you love (although near them is okay). Also, swearing like a sailor in everyday conversation just isn't that appealing and doesn't make you sound overly eloquent. Again, save the swears for when you're really exasperated and have no other words left. It helps to retain the power of the words themselves, and seriously, truly, despite what your younger self wanted to believe, makes you look infinitely more intelligent and commanding of respect.
4. You should always treat others how you'd like to be treated
It's sort of a no brainer, but think about all the times your mom told you to treat others how you want to be treated and then you went ahead and acted like a selfish little jerk regardless. When you're growing up, you tend to take things personally, thus your poor treatment of others you feel have slighted you. But as you get older, you realize that your mother imploring you to put goodness out into the world isn't just about being nice to others, it's also about being nice to yourself. Happiness breeds happiness, and contempt breeds contempt. Maybe if our mothers had put it like that—"When you're awful to another person, you're really just making your own life more toxic."—our selfish asses would have listened.
5. You can do it
Mom was always your number one cheerleader ,right? When you could only say "I can't," she was the one in your corner saying, "Yes, you can." Moms know your potential, even when you're questioning it. Maybe this is an ongoing thing because any time I've had self-doubt, my mom's looked at me smugly and said, "Whatever, you'll be fine." And every single time she's been right, as yours probably has been too.
6. No one will ever love you as much as your mom
They say the only person you can rely on is yourself, but that's not true: Sometimes you let yourself down, and when you do, your mom is always there to pick up the pieces. When moms say they love you more than anything, they're not lying: Mom would kill or die for you in ways no one else could ever conceive of. Sure, your partner might love you to the ends of the earth and back, your friends might be deeply enamored with you, but you lived inside your mother, which makes her love the most powerful of all.
