'Doctor Who' To Become An 'American Psycho'

So, now that Doctor Who's Eleventh timelord has hung up his sonic screwdriver for the very last time, the actor Matt Smith has officially announced his next project: serial murder-person. More commonly known as Patrick Bateman for fans of Bret Easton Ellis, fucked up tales of the American Dream, and West End enthusiasts, the American Psycho himself will be portrayed by the most famous space-and-time traveling Brit in the world. There will be song (by Duncan Shiek)! There will be dance! And it is going to be very, very creepy — made all-the-more so, in fact, by the gangly playfulness that Smith has embodied for the majority of his acting career.

I mean, let's be real: a staged musical about the now-iconic character and story (made famous by Christian Bale on the big screen), is going to be strange. Especially with Bret Easton Ellis involved. Unnerving, uninhibited, and undoubtedly strange is sort of the deal when both things are involved — which is probably why the casting directors went with a big, bold, gawky choice such as Smith. Not that Smith is any stranger to the stage: in fact the beginning of his acting career is chock-a-block with appearances on London stages big and small before he made off with his big blue box that could.

But the case still needs to be made: will Matt Smith be good-creepy or just creepy-creepy as Patrick Bateman? And which of those is the better answer?

The Case for Good-CreepyWell, Matt Smith played a Timelord — someone with the whole of space and time just rumbling around in that bigger-on-the-inside noggin of his — and if anyone can do good-creepy, it's the man who's been running through time his whole life, unaware of just how genius and mad he really is — played with conviviality!

Plus...he can dance, which will be perfect for any sort of musical montage moments:

The Case for Creepy-CreepyEvil is secretly lurking at the heart of The Doctor — why else do you think he's been running for so long? (I mean, outside of that whole double-genocide thing.) Someone who's done bad (even if it was for the greater good) will always be a little bit creepy because they always see, in their mind, the worst case scenario and how to enact it. A burdened mind is an undoubtedly eerie place to be.

And to be matter-of-fact about it in the face of fear and other more generalized emotional reactions? Yeah, that's creepy-creepy as fuck.

Plus...you won't like him when he's angry:

Winner, All-Around: Creepy-Creepy. I mean look at those crazy eyes and that beard. Heebie jeebies, party of: everyone ever.

But really: aren't we all winners with Matt Smith in the role? Plus, something tells us he'd really cut a rug to Huey Lewis and The News, or say, Phil Collins.

Photo Credit: BBC