2003 Called, They Want This Duet Back

It's everything you hated about the music from the early 2000s, doubled. Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger's new song "Let Me Go" was released Monday and god, is it torturous. The song's probably not bad if you're a dentist looking to pad your waiting room soundtrack, but here's a hint: if you didn't like Nickelback nor Avril ten years ago, you certainly won't like them together now.

It seems like these two will have to learn the hard way, though. There is no way this single is going to perform well — Kroeger has been the butt of jokes for the better part of a decade and Avril's mall punk has been usurped by Ke$ha's more accessible, more fun, drunk punk. Point is, Chad and Avril are about as relevant as nylon Kate Spade purses and light-wash, boot-cut jeans — there's no place for them here in 2013. It sounds harsh, but come on, it's mostly true.

When they got married after only a month of dating back in 2012, everyone was pretty weirded out. He's 38, she's 29, she'd just finished dating Brody Jenner, he... just finished spiking his hair up because he still thinks that's cool. Nothing about it really added up, except for the fact that they're both Canadian, which sure, yeah, it makes sense on some levels, but not all.

With lyrics like "I’m breaking free from these memories/ Gotta let it go, just let it go/ I’ve said goodbye, set it all on fire/ Gotta let it go, just let it go", I can't help but wonder if they're not sub consciously singing about their careers.

"Let Me Go" will be a part of Lavigne's upcoming self-titled album, which will be available in iTunes Oct. 15.