Life

Your "I Hate Football" Super Bowl Drinking Game

by Rosanne Salvatore

I know that the Super Bowl isn't necessarily everyone's cup of tea. I mean it's definitely my 32 oz. beer, but I get the fact that watching grown-ass men smack each other around for hours on end isn't all that exciting to everyone. Actually I don't really get it, but hey, different strokes for different folks! And just because you don't necessarily love watching the game doesn't mean you can't enjoy the mother of Sundays, Super Bowl Sunday. Because even if you hate football, there's still chicken wings. If you're a vegetarian, there's always bubbly and delicious cheese dip. If for some crazy reason you hate cheese (the horror!), there's always Katy Perry's football pedi.

The point is, there are plenty of reasons to love the Super Bowl, but if you're not convinced yet, remember this: above all else, there is always, always booze on Super Bowl Sunday. So here's a little drinking game I brewed up (see what I did there?) for those of you who don't necessarily GAF about football but don't wanna miss out on a Sunday Funday. I'm with you, girrrrrrrl. Alternative title for this: Your Feminist Super Bowl Drinking Game, because girrrrrrl I'm also with you on that. Game on...

1. Every time someone mentions deflated balls or Deflategate, revel in your womanhood & also take a shot

2. If Tom Brady comes out wearing Uggs, go make yourself a hot toddy and finish it, because that just feels right

3. Sexist Super Bowl commercial? That's a shot

I'd say two, but you'd be blacked out after the first quarter.

4. Every time someone says Beast Mode, finish your beer

5. If you ever feel like you'd rather be watching a cactus grow, take a shot

P.S. The Super Bowl's in Arizona this year.

6. Every time a Budweiser Super Bowl commercial starring adorable animals plays with your emotions, drink whatever's in sight

Le sigh.

7. If Katy Perry's boob falls out at halftime, chug a keg

8. If someone finishes the buffalo chicken dip, finish whatever you're drinking, spike your cup, & get the hell out of there

You don't need that negativity in your life.

If you made it this far, ConGraTuLatiOns, you're wasted!

Images: crystalandconfetti/Instagram; Giphy (8)