We Double Dog Dare You To Down A Double Down Dog

Though Kentucky Fried Chicken is usually an expert on all matters even tangentially chicken-related, they might have gone too far with a new addition to their menu. At select restaurants in the Philippines, KFC customers can now order the Double Down Dog. What is it, you ask? Answer: a hot dog covered in cheese and wrapped in fried chicken, for all the times you can’t decide between a hot dog, a corn dog, a plate of taco cheese, or an intriguingly flat piece of fried chicken.

Although some say the new offer is over-the-top, even an abomination, the Dog is not as much of a culinary outlier as one might think, nor does it represent an exclusively American food trend. It’s not the worst food America has ever produced. It’s not even the most shocking fried chicken creation released in the last year. You could even argue it’s a good addition to a high-protein, high-fat diet.

Other countries produce their fair share of questionable offerings — no one ever questions the weirdness of Canada’s pet fast food, poutine. And Subway Japan quietly fed people barbecue hot dog subs in 2013. KFC Philippines restaurants are only serving 50 of these specialties every day. So what’s the big deal?

As is many a PR disaster, the stickiest problem with KFC’s new addition is its name. What’s in a name? Would not a Double Down Dog by any other name be just as bizarre? Well, no. There are lots of bad names, like Ethel or Herman or Double Down Dog. Here are a few reasons why the Dog’s name is its own worst enemy.

Take Out The Word “Double”: Down Dog

No one wants to think about yoga when they’re trying to eat a hot dog wrapped in a pancake of fried chicken.

Add The Word “Dare”: Double Dog Dare

Despite what motivational posters would have you think, this phrase brings to mind everything that was terrible about kindergarten. Most of these awful things took place on the playground after someone double-dog-dared someone to do something. After that, there's no going back — and the negative connotation unfortunately carries on to KFC's new creation.

Anything Insinuating That You Are Eating A Dog Is A Problem

People love their dogs, and dogs love their people. No, really, they do. No one wants to feel like they are eating anything dog-related, dog-ish, dog-style... etc.

Conclusion: The Dog Deserves A Classier Name

The Double Down Dog never did anything to deserve its sub-par name. It hasn't even been alive for a day. Would you judge an unfortunately named newborn to be annoying purely because she was named Ikea? It is only our civic duty as people of a democratic republic to vote on a more fair and representative name for this new member of our fast food nation.

Images: NBC, Pinterest, Reddit