21 Pet Halloween Costumes That Are Adorable/Ridiculous/Emotionally Scarring

Sweet Jesus, look at those two little dogs, laboring so nobly to bring you a present. Oh wait, just kidding, it's just one dog in the best costume ever. Because any costume that makes one cute dog into two cute dogs, with a present no less, is guaranteed to win my heart.

Image: ShinyHappyHead via Reddit

I guess it’s less the Santa costume and more that this would leave most cats thoroughly disgruntled. What could be better than a perturbed, furry Santa? Also, if you’ve noticed the excessive coverage of cat costumes, let it be openly pointed out that anything a dog can wear, a cat can wear better. Bite me, dog lovers.

Image: Draco _Dormiens via Reddit

Hahaha Mrs. Claus like Mrs. Claus! Although, truth be told, I can see a very easy transition into a kitty Strawberry Shortcake costume here, which is both confusing and intriguing. Mrs.Claws/Strawberry Shortcat, the outfit so nice you can use it twice?

Image: SaraFist via Reddit

So being a witch for Halloween is the female equivalent of going as a football player. (Sigh, you’re soooo original, throwing on a jersey for the most popular sport in the country... ugh yes I’ll go home with you.) Buuuut THIS IS A HAMSTER WITCH. So teeny and fuzzy and weirdly sinister, huh?

Image: Breyskja via Reddit

It might be a sign that I’ve looked at far too many pet costume pictures today, but I find this costume relatively regal. Not only are triceratops cute to begin with, but how can you resist a dog with horns AND a plate of bone made by plushy stuff? You can’t.

Image: California Costumes via Amazon

This is not cute. This is disturbing. What self-respecting pet owner would ever engineer to put their pet in something THAT GIVES THEM BOOBS. HUMAN BOOBS. This should be a violation of something because I feel violated after looking at it. I’m sorry I did this to you all.

Image: Pup-A-Razzi via Amazon

So here’s a dog as bacon because bacon is confusingly trendy right now and anything that is good as/with other things has been modified to be bacon-related. So… yeah.

Image: Rasta Imposta via Amazon

AGAIN WITH THE BOOBS. Is it less weird because the dog is meant to be Madonna? Or more weird because at the end of the day, that’s a canine in a wig with cone boobs?

Image: Pup-a-razzi via Amazon

I pity the pug! Although, is it just me or do an unusual amount of pet costume companies do photo shoots with pugs? Regardless, this costume is lean, mean, and takes no prisoners. Plus, doggy bling. How amazing is that?

Image: Animals Planets via Amazon

There is something ultimately repelling about this DIY doggy get-up, and yet here it is. However, I hasten to add that as humans we could easily wear the same thing, because, ya know,everyone poops. Let’s not be unfair to our canine companions unnecessarily.

Image: DIYcandy.com

Look guys, it’s a Sugarbear costume for dogs! At the very least, y’all better redneckognize that a dog with a t-shirt and a beergut is going to get loads of laughs at whatever Halloween party you drag your dog to. Just don't let them get ahold of any Go Go Juice or you might have an issue.

Image: rickyshalloween.com

This outfit is actually called “Doginatrix.” As in a horrifying play on words between dog and dominatrix because C’MON GUYS THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT SEXY DOG COSTUMES. My eyes will never be able to unsee this, and that makes me very sad. Enough said.

Image: rickyshalloween.com

There are no words left. None. Only a question: how many dogs-being-hurled-related fatalities will this costume cause?

Image: partycity.com

It’s a dog, dressed up as a man! Indiana Jones, specifically. Although, you might not have gotten that at first — there’s something satisfying about seeing a dog dressed as a person when most of us spent our young children years dressing up as/pretending to be our dogs. Ah, it’s the circle of life, and it moves us all.

Image: partycity.com

Just when you thought Minions couldn’t be any more cute, well, surprise! They can be. When the Minion is your dog. Plus, just look at the little eyes on top of the head, awwwwww.

Image: legavenue.com

This costume just goes to show that we, as a society, choose to overlook the indignities dog face every day. Like, potentially having to pose with A FRICKIN’ COVERED WAGON. There is just no way to recover from that.

Image: glamourdog.com

And just when you thought it couldn’t be worse than a pooch prairie wagon costume…. well, it can be. Now, your dog can be just as objectified as Playboy Bunnies can! Yayyyyy, interspecies objectification! Isn’t that just… disturbing. Really disturbing.

Image: glamourdog.com

This costume is especially wonderful because it aspires to be a Latin-influenced dress, but, in reality, just makes the poor dog look like a mix between a piñata and a clown. But this would be a marvelous outfit to take your dog to the Pride Parade in, if the occasion arose. An outfit that multitasks? I like. I like very much.

Image: glamourdog.com

Just to give your horrified brain a rest from the previous atrocities. Here’s a dog as a caterpillar. Cute, simple, and with no overarching themes of bestiality. What a relief.

Image: glamourdog.com

And of course, your dog could just go as a dog. But not themselves of course, that would be absurd. No, better that your dog should go as this dog, a mad dog. Because your dog is never like that. Neeeeever.

Image: glamourdog.com