Tabloid's Bruce Jenner Cover Will ENRAGE You

In a stunning act of total bullshit, In Touch Weekly featured a Photoshopped picture of Bruce Jenner on its cover. The wizards at the gossip rag altered a photo of Bruce Jenner with lipstick and blush, with the headline "My Life as a Woman." The cover story is apparently Bruce's "true story" (cannot use enough sarcastic quotes) about his transition from living as a man to presenting as a woman. And, they claim, there are 11 shocking photos inside, which I guess is supposed to be the bait for people to spend money on this stuff.

Is it even worth getting so incensed about a magazine that is generally agreed upon as swill? Yes, we must stay mad. Especially because In Touch had one of the top five readerships in 2013. Looks like checkout-line fodder is still a lucrative industry. Even these journalistic equivalents of YouTube comments sections have to be held accountable for their ignorant and absurd missteps. Kris Jenner has allegedly spoken out about the photo of her ex-husband; a friend of hers reportedly told TMZ that Kris said, "It’s just mean to do whether or not it’s true."

I'd call that a vast understatement.

Besides the blatant transphobia of this cover, here are seven things that are so grossly wrong about the In Touch cover.

You've GOT to Be Kidding Me

Seriously?! What fresh hell is this?! Those were my eloquent first reactions to seeing this atrocity. Are we being trolled? I guess a better question would be: When are we NOT being trolled?

What Kind of Disrespect...

It's almost impressive how ignorant and offensive this cover is to so many. Obviously, to the trans community, for exploiting their very real struggles into a cheap blind item. To Bruce Jenner, for churning out some slipshod story that, even if it is based in some sort of truth, is totally intrusive. To anyone, really, who values a modicum of privacy. And to makeup, because what kind of a look is that?

Slow Lies Day?

Was this really the best they could do? Aren't there stars out there that may or may not be pregnant? Isn't it your responsibility to predict how much celeb divorces will cost? And of the Kardashians, there wasn't ONE lie you could think up about any of the rest? Dang, leave Bruce alone.

Nice Photoshopping

If you're going to throw shade, at least do it properly. I could have done a better job in MS Paint.

Excuse me, You Dropped Your Ethics

Obviously at this point, it's just a pipe dream to demand ethical culpability, but this one just takes it too far. It seems pretty clear that they just straight up made up sources and stories. "Kris panics over his big announcement," the cover reads. Oh, really? She certainly didn't seem panicked when she called out your nonsense on Wednesday morning.

Pick on Someone Who Gives a Damn

The coolest thing about Bruce Jenner is that he really does not give a damn. As his friends have said, "He doesn’t even pay attention to this stuff." Maybe that's precisely why In Touch took such a cheap shot at Bruce, hoping he would respond. But he probably doesn't think about them at all, because he's a cool customer who is too busy to be bothered with nastiness.

Images: Giphy (6)