Here's Your Ultimate Valentine's Day Playlist

We’re a mere week away from the greatest international love fest of 2015: Valentine’s Day (…unless of course Iraq and the Asian countries get married and have a baby and Obama delivers it, which is my personal fantasy). Since I’m not one to stand idly by and leave lovers to their own devices when it comes to picking songs about tingles, heart palpitations, and the grand majesty of love, I put together this Valentine's Day playlist to honor all the saccharine emotions that come along with THE GREATEST EXPERIENCE ON EARTH. Though these songs are mostly about requited love — because it's Valentine's Day and we're not celebrating that time Randy cheated on you in Cancun with your best friend Susan and now you have trust issues, duh — there are still some minor chords in this playlist because no matter how lucky you are, there are still seasons to this thing called love. So queue up your iPod and enjoy my 14 favorite tracks about love.

But please note: this list is about love, not lust, so when it comes time to break it down in the bedroom, you’re gonna want to throw on some Miguel… and don’t say I never did you any favors.

1. "It's Oh So Quiet" by Björk

Sometimes falling in love can be a most delightful explosion... zing BOOM!

2. "Playground Love" by Air

Remember making out on the monkey bars? Yeah, that's right you do, because it was awesome! This song perfectly captures the pure, blissful feeling of young love.

3. "Crazy for You" by Best Coast

For that I love you so much, I hate you crazy-obsessive kinda love.

4. "Do You Realize??" by The Flaming Lips

Yeah, we are all going to die someday, which is why it's so important to make the good things last.

5. "Cupid — Deluxe Edition Version" by Amy Winehouse

A desperate pleading with Cupid to make her crush return the sentiment? Erm, I think we can all relate. RIP this chanteuse goddess — we love you, Amy!

6. "Stolen Dance" by Milky Chance

If we just move our bodies in an electric rhythm on the dance floor, we don't ever have to talk about our feelings, but we'll probably both get off, deal??

7. "I Found You" by Alabama Shakes

Love is patient, love is kind, but sometimes love takes FOR-freaking-EVER — and when it finally comes, this type of celebration hymn is definitely in order.

8. "When U Love Somebody" by Fruit Bats

For when your mind is completely blank except for: Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. God, I love him. Breathe.

9. "Silly Love Songs" by Paul McCartney

There are a million (probably close, right?) Beatles songs ripe for the Valentine's Day picking, but I'm partial to this sticky sweet little ditty Paul McCartney wrote for me during our affair in the 70s... LOLZ! (But seriously, Paul, call me.)

10. "Love Is Strange" by Mickey & Sylvia

Love IS strange. And so is me forcing my BF to do a scene-by-scene reenactment of Dirty Dancing, BUT I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME, DARRELL.

11. "Chateau Lobby #4 (in C for Two Virgins)" by Father John Misty

Yes to everything about this song: its mawkish nod to "the establishment" of marriage, the genuine sentiment, Spanish guitar riffs, the effing horn section... Forget that other girl and marry me, Father John Misty!

12. "'03 Bonnie & Clyde" by Jay-Z feat. Beyoncé

Divorce rumors whaaaat? A healthy reminder that Jay and Bey have been going strong for more than a decade now. And at this point, it looks like they'll be ride or die for decades to come. #THROWBACK #MURDA

13. "Lover's Spit" by Broken Social Scene

Because to "grow old and do some shit" with your favorite person in the world is literally the most romantic thing I can think of.

14. "At Last" by Etta James

Love can be an elusive minx, but when you finally find her, it's all blue skies and hack metaphors... and somehow the wait suddenly becomes totally, totally worth it.

Images: Spotify (14)