A Close Reading of the New 'KUWTK' Trailer

Fresh on the heels of Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian taking the Hamptons under siege, E! is firing up yet another season of KUWTK. Get ready, guys, because the new trailer for Keeping Up With The Kardashians Season 10 foreshadows that the upcoming episodes will basically be a review of all the 2014 Kardashian headlines. WHO'S EXCITED?!?!?!

Watching the preview though, plenty of the stories that are foreshadowed for the upcoming season sound MIGHTY familiar. That is, if you're a religious Kardashian news follower by trade or for recreation. First of all, there's Bruce — whose hair is currently long enough to be tied back into a ponytail and fed through the back of a baseball cap — being chastised by Kim for dating a lady whom is hinted at being Kris Jenner's best friend. The other side of the parent plot comes courtesy of Kris Jenner's new boyfriend, Corey Gamble, who the girls seem to think is an unsuitable partner for mom. Then, we go behind the scenes of Kim Kardashian: Hollywood in the making. Last but not least, Brody is seen wailing about not being invited to Kim and Kanye's wedding. Gotta hand it to those Kardashians. They're masters of headline/series synergy. Feast your eyes.

Because plenty of the storylines on the upcoming seasons are ripped straight from the magazines (not like this show doesn't always do that), let's break down the way the show handles the plot versus the media spin.

Bruce Jenner's Rumspringa

KUWTK: "Bruce on the loose!!!" wails Jenner, his hair aloft in the sea breeze. After a few beats in which his young people stare at him, horrified, the clip cuts to Kim saying, "She was really one of my mom's good friends, and my mom cries about it." It's probable that she's referring to a rumored relationship that Bruce has been having with Ronda Kamihira, Kris' former assistant and friend. "It's not right," Decrees Kris, delineating what we imagine are the rules of girl code.

The Media: Back in October, TMZ allegedly confirmed the story after talking to an insider who is close to the Kardashian Kamp. The source told the news outlet that Kris was "extremely upset" and that "it really stings because Ronda never told Kris she was seeing Bruce." So basically, the accounts are pretty much the same.

Kris Jenner's Younger Boyfriend

KUWTK: "She just needs a mature, normal guy," Scott tells the girls during a lounge fest on the couch. Khloe chimes in: "His name is Corey. He's younger than Kim and Kourtney." Cut to: Kris and new boyfriend Corey at the club. Neither party is looking mature or normal.

The Media: Plenty of articles out there are emphasizing the 26-year age difference between Gamble and Jenner. Also, stories are reporting that the family isn't too enthused with Mom's romance, just as the clip depicts. According to an OK! Magazine story, Kylie reportedly doesn't like the new boyfriend and is distancing herself from the family, AS we see in the trailer. FANCY THAT!!!

The Kim Kardashian Game

KUWTK: Kim asks her sisters: "I wanted to see if you guys are gonna be in my video game." Kourtney gives a reluctant "MMMMMM," and next thing you know, a cease and desist letter crops up on Kris' desk. I know what you're thinking. It's not from President Obama. It is from... Kourtney Kardashian!!!! Bum bum BUM!!!! CONFLICT!!

The Media: An article in Time magazine aptly compared Kim Kardashian: Hollywood to Dante's Inferno. The more you become immersed in Kim's world, the more difficult it is to extricate yourself from the whirlpool of vice, fame, and lightning bolts. A far more literary analysis of the game from a well-respected news outlet, the highbrow reaction to Kim's new project was more critical than Kardashian plot driven.

Brody Flaking on the Kimye Wedding

KUWTK: "You think Kim and Kanye were really gonna give a f--k if Brody was not gonna show up to the wedding?!" Scott, playing the voice of reason, tells Kim, "They really think that there's sides." To which Kim reacts with an indignant o-face. It seems, indeed, that Brody feels snubbed by the family.

The Media: When the Kimye wedding came and went without any sign of Bromance, everyone simultaneously asked "WHERE'S KIM'S HALF BROTHER?!" Brody told Us Weekly that he didn't attend because of "commitments" and that there were no hard feelings. But later on, Radar Online published a story claiming that Jenner was upset because his girlfriend wasn't invited to the nuptials. This seems like it would be a cause for taking sides, so I'm gonna guess these depictions are consistent with one another.

So with the exception of the Kim Kardashian: Hollywood game, it looks like the media depictions of these stories will essentially be in keeping with the way things are to be spun on the show. In conclusion, these stories were TOTALLY not concocted for the benefit of the show (wink wink).

Image: Getty Images (3); Kim Kardashian: Hollywood