Serial Monogamists Vs. 'Serial' Monogamists

I'm a serial monogamist, having spent the vast majority of the last 12 years of my life in a serious relationship with someone or another. I'm also a Serial monogamist, having discovered the This American Life-affiliated podcast sometime around mid-October and spent countless hours since poring over it obsessively, analyzing it gratuitously, and debating it aggressively with fellow loyalists — meanwhile barely glancing at any of the other enticing podcasts that may have tempted me to stray.

So, is my one-man woman approach to romances past and present linked to my tunnel-vision fidelity to Sarah Koening, Adnan Syed, and bombass Serial theme song composer Mark Henry Phillips? Are the characteristics that make "girlfriend" my default state the same ones that make me want to pledge "till death do us part" to our country's current (and borderline troubling) radio obsession? And will the end of Serial season one feel like a bad breakup — full of rage, despair, mourning, and earnest proclamations that I'll never, ever, ever love anyone the same way again...until the next object of my infatuation comes along? The Bustle Venn above shows where these two totally defining parts of my persona intersect — I expect them to fully unite as one when I somehow find a way to make Ira Glass my husband.

Image: Illustration by *Caroline Wurtzel*