Entertainment
'Big Brother 15' Gives Us 6 Ways to Spot a Terrible Houseguest
We can't really fault CBS. Though the network gave us one of the worst Big Brother casts of all time during Big Brother 15, a season full of racists and floaters, it might not have followed the signs to spotting a horrible Big Brother contestant. But that's why we're here! So listen up, Big Brother producers: Here are six traits that automatically lead to a terrible houseguest for TV and in life. Images: CBS
We can't really fault CBS. Though the network gave us one of the worst Big Brother casts of all time during Big Brother 15, a season full of racists and floaters, it might not have followed the signs to spotting a horrible Big Brother contestant. But that's why we're here! So listen up, Big Brother producers: Here are six traits that automatically lead to a terrible houseguest for TV and in life. Images: CBS
They're Hot... And That's All
Boobs are great for the boob tube. But only if they're paired with personality. Otherwise, these contestants (Big Brother 13's Porsche, Big Brother 14's Kara, Big Brother 15's Kaitlin) only take up space and encourage showmances — one of Big Brother's worst distractions. Now, give us hot and conniving (Big Brother 7's Janelle, Big Brother 13's Daniele) and everyone wins!
They Have a Red Beard
True, Big Brother 15's Spencer played the game, but he also played all of us, finishing in the final three despite being a terrible person. Until he spouted homophobic and misogynistic thoughts, though, he only reminded us of Adam, Big Brother 13's superfan-turned-ultimate floater. Don't be swayed by the red-hot hair on their chinny chin chins — they're anything but cool.
They're Looking Only For Showmances
Big Brother 15's David is hardly the first to start a reality TV showmance, but he's certainly the least successful. Though he did manage to woo horrible person Aaryn, he also managed to get kicked out first. Not too much a shame, considering he was as deep as whatever shallow pool he lifeguards for. We need people who want to play the game, Big Brother — not try out their game.
They're Stupid
Yes, stupidity has brought us some great Big Brother moments (Ashley's Big Brother 14 date with Ian, anyone?). But it also was a trait belonging to some of the show's worst contestants: Big Brother 13's Lawon, Big Brother 12's Kathy, and Big Brother 10 and 11's Jessie. Not to mention Big Brother 15's GinaMarie, the worst thing to happen to Staten Island since trash. No wonder Survivor's Jeff Probst has said his reality show casts contestants only with IQs high enough to have a mental capacity to scheme. Is it too much to hope Big Brother follows suit?
They Have Muscles The Size of their Red Bull Budget
Big Brother houseguests don't like other houseguests when they're angry. Especially when 50 percent of their anger comes from 'roid rage. The muscles might be TV-friendly, Big Brother producers, but they're not human friendly. Especially when they lead to constant screaming matches — or worse, violence.
They're Related to a Famous Person
Proof that reality TV DNA doesn't run in all families: Big Brother 14 bully Willie (brother of Survivor legend Russell Hantz) and Big Brother 15 bore Elissa (sister of Big Brother legend Rachel Reilly). There are some exceptions (the aforementioned Donato), but the Big Brother house is one residence houseguest kin should not visit.
